How do you make sure that education is not the problemYou are out of your control? Many problems, including aggression, violation of relationships, have different levels of intensity. God has given parents the ability to handle most problems. However, in some cases it is necessary to consult a doctor or other specialist. We can give you some guidance.
Pray. First of all, ask our Heavenly Fatherhelp you assist your child. »For the Lord gives wisdom; out of his mouth - knowledge and understanding »(Proverbs 2: 6). Show the Lord, what you fight, and you can count on his support.
Maintain and where necessary restore the relationship with the child. Разговор по душам может предоставить вам необходимую информацию, и тогда вы сами сумеете понять, нужна ли вам профессиональная помощь. Бывает и так, что откровенный разговор сам разрешает все проблемы. Например, если подросток, едва переступив порог дома, устремляется в свою комнату и захлопывает за собой дверь, не ждите, пока он сам покинет свое убежище.
Take the initiative and show him hisanxiety, ask what torments him. If a teenager is grimly to withdraw into themselves, tell him that you accept his behavior as a danger signal, and, if he refuses to talk to you, you go with him to a priest or counselor.
You must ensure that the child receives medical assistance. Some behavioral disorders due to physiology. Thus, a link between acute inflammation of the throat and obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Find a community where work is under way with children. It is extremely important to be to a good church whereestablished communication with children and young people. Teachers and leaders who work with children are well versed in this complex issue - what kind of behavior can be regarded as the norm, and that is an aberration. They will help you determine how serious your problem is. Thus, an abrupt change in appearance can mean simply that your child has entered adolescence, but the choice of anti-social clothing, challenging society may indicate a problem. Too candid dress or T-shirt with an aggressive symbols require increased vigilance.
Overcome your fear of making mistakes and others' opinions. Your anxiety about the fact that he would think about youyour child, or even strangers, prevents you discover the true problem child. Fear causes you to underestimate the problem or blame the child, »black sheep» of the family. Remember that all the parents in something wrong, and God heals the sick, not the healthy (see. Matthew 9: 12-13).
Give up the pursuit of excellence andhonestly try to understand, is not whether your method of education one of the problems that have to fight for your child. Tell your child, »I want to discuss with you whether and my fault that you fell grades in school. How can I help you? What should I do to make you change your attitude towards learning? Than I disturb you? »I asked the opinion of his friends: perhaps you are not structure the time to practice or popustitelstvuete laziness, finding excuses for the child. Tip from will help you cope with the task of the educator.
Рассматривайте любую проблему как проблему характера. You have to understand, is linked whether a problemRelations with the scope, responsibilities, reality, competence, spiritual life, the ability to self-sufficiency. Symptoms may be a symptom of some irregularities in the development of character.
Check to see whether you will be able to solve this problem,having worked for the relevant aspects of the character. So, if a child is always rebelling against you, discuss the situation with him, with his teachers, and priests. Perhaps it's not just that the child does not want to obey; it is likely that his troubled complex relationships with their peers, or it needs more strict discipline (or less restrictive).
Try to determine what aspects of the character you have to deal with. Help your child to work out this trait and see whether it will deliver you to give him problems.
Wait until the process of »study of character.» Работа над характером занимает определенное время. Это длительный процесс — ребенок должен сперва понять, к какой именно реальности вы пытаетесь помочь ему приспособиться. Так, малыш не понимает, почему его наказывают за то, что он вылез посреди ночи из постели. Это новая для него реальность, ему кажется, что мама поменяла правила, — собственно, так оно и есть. Дайте ребенку время привыкнуть к новым правилам и наказаниям, но не отменяйте наказание. Особенно это относится к ситуации установления границ: как правило, первоначально ребенок реагирует ухудшением поведения, испытывая вас и эти границы.
If enough time has passed, and the result is not, ask for help. Even the right mix of the necessary elementsmercy, truth and time will not solve the problem extends beyond the limits of the parents. If over time you can not overcome the aggressiveness, poor school performance, tendency to isolation, lack of motivation, you need to seek professional help. You rush to the doctor when the child has a high fever; the same should be done in the field of education: an insurmountable problem indicates a serious disorder.
Watch for symptoms of anxiety. There are some problems that are only compounded if time does not seek the assistance of a specialist. In such cases, you can not pull, you need to act quickly. These problems include:
• Constant crying infant, as a child that something hurts,
• uncontrolled behavior of the child, despite the consistent application of discipline and punishment,
• dive a full withdrawal,
• strange behavior, such as when kids beat his head against the headboard,
• sudden weight loss before the onset of adolescence and adolescence, or, on the contrary, overeating,
• propensity for violence,
• depression,
• attempts of arson,
• self-mutilation, cuts, burns,
• Serious problems in school: bad behavior, evaluation, absenteeism,
• alcohol and drugs,
• sexual promiscuity,
• commitment to the occult religion or sect.
Fortunately, most of these problems lend themselvesresolution, though they take a lot of time and effort. If you have to deal with any of these challenges, you need a support group. The main thing - do not keep away from her child. Many children outgrow their problems and become quite prosperous adults, as parents are given time to help them and they were able to work out their problems.
Remember: God understands how hard it is to you alone to raise a child and it is difficult to account for your child. God helps those who call upon Him, He comforted them in sorrow. Ask God for support and answers to their problems. »The Lord restores my soul» (Psalm 53: 6).
