This is a very powerful stereotype. If a man earns much less his wife, almost certainly his self-esteem will suffer. If the husband earns little, so he's lazy, stupid, selfish and simply »not a man». Sincerely enjoys the one who provides the lion's share of the family budget, and even if the husband earns as much as his wife, he can not be head of the family - in fact in this case, he and his wife are on a par! What could be more interesting and better-paid jobs?
However, your husband has a job that is,even an ordinary office job requiring his presence from 9 am to 6 pm, and sometimes longer. It is assumed that it is your husband devotes a lot of time, it simply can not afford to pay less attention to it. Even if the husband is a taxi driver and the word »career» makes him laugh only, he has to work hard to earn a living. In the present situation of one who does not show sufficient zeal in the work, it may be replaced by a more diligent worker, it is worth remembering.
Society makes your husband to see themselves as the main earner in the family.
His colleagues and friends, transmissiontelevision, books, read them, the very culture in which he grew up - all contributes to the maintenance in his mind of this stereotype. To earn money for the family - it was his duty, his duty towards you and your children. This means that if it is not ideally suited to this stereotype, then almost certainly you secretly suffers greatly in this regard. And he will answer calls at work, even when you want to talk to him about something important. And it will stay in the office and even to go to work at the weekend and the house constantly checking your email. That's what they say about this man:
»I combine work and family. It is not always happy with my guide my choice in favor of the family, it happens, I just have to devote time to the work, not his wife and children. »
»I am a programmer and work at home. Very often, my wife does not understand that I'm busy and I can not be distracted. She thinks I'm home again, I must constantly help her with the baby. Then who will make money? ».
»My wife earns more than me, she is veryhigh salary. But this does not mean that I am working for a penny, just prior to its level me away. Soon we will have a son, and my wife wants me to take leave to care for a child, as her income is more and not to our advantage to lose it. »
Can you help her husband feelbetter and safer? How to make him understand that the child needs not only earned them money, but also a little bit of his attention? In the next article I will tell you what you can do to save her husband from the constant stress due to the need to provide for the family, and teach him to be with you as a team.
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