This happens in the lives of almost every woman. You can even calculate approximately when this happens. But to be ready for this is not obtained. ? It's not about treason. And not about who is more important for a man - a mistress or wife. Even in those families where husbands are true to their mates, this happens. Let's talk about how to respond to the indifference of her husband and whether it can be changed.
HOW IT HAPPENS
Many married ladies are probably familiar with the situation- the candy-bouquet period, the feeling that there are only two of you in the world, you completely dissolve in it, and it is in you ... a wedding ... Then - the birth of a child, and the spouse slightly fades into the background - not because you are more of it You do not love, but because you now belong entirely to the baby. As a wise and loving wife, you, of course, try to find time for a beloved man.
And now, two or three years pass, the babyGrows up, you get the opportunity to give her husband tenderness and affection, which nedodala during courtship for the baby. Here you suddenly realize for yourself that a loved one does not need you as much as he used to. And everything seems to be fine, you love each other, your husband is faithful to you, but sex is not so frequent and passionate, and he embraces you not so tightly, and calls less often, and somewhere sms disappear, full of caresses and tenderness and ... . This list can be continued indefinitely.
I WANT TO CHANGE ALL TO CHANGE
Naturally, you are very worried. Then you put on rose-colored glasses and try to justify your husband in your own eyes.
Oksana, 26 years old:
»The first thing you do is tell yourself: »No, it seemed to me. It's just that he has a period now, he gets tired at work. »Or» Spring, beriberi, apathy. We need to buy vitamin supplements. »But time passes, and you understand - there is nothing more permanent than temporary.»
It becomes clear that nothing will change. At least, it will not change itself. And you begin to act.
Alia, 32years:
»I started working on myself. The standard scheme - to lose weight, change the style, buy sexy underwear, arrange a beloved husband striptease, candlelight evening, or both, smoothly passing into a passionate night. After the night of love, there has come a lull again. »
You choose a different tactic - you showColdness, indifference, with all your appearance you show that you did not really want to. Even refuse sex in the hope that the instinct of the hunter will still work. ? The action is instantaneous - well, no, and do not. He, it turns out, is very tired today and will do without it.
Did not work. The next attempt to understand the situation - frankly talk with her husband.
Elina, 28 years old:
»I asked my husband to give me time. We sat down, and over a cup of coffee I started from afar. She said how much I love him, how wonderful he is, including that I'm fine with him in bed, but recently he is very short of me. I remembered how great it was together when our relations started. I hinted that I wanted to feel loved and desired, as then. Cautiously asked - maybe he wants me to change too? It turned out - it all suits me. He explained that he was tired at work, besides, temporary financial difficulties exerted pressure on him. Said - I love you very much, do not take it personally. And at last he promised that everything would be all right, everything would be fine. I believed, calmed down. A year has passed, nothing has changed. The husband does not change - it is checked. And the passion in the relationship never returned »
IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE
Psychologists usually advise women who fall intoSuch a situation, do not focus on it, but take care of yourself, fill your time with something interesting, get yourself a hobby, change your job, etc. When you really want to live, you will not focus on your own husband, and he will feel your real (not ostentatious) indifference or aloofness, then he really will have the instinct of a hunter, and he will want to conquer you again, so mysterious, so A familiar stranger.
Natasha, 35 years old:
»I rolled scandals to my husband, I hadHysterics about once a month on the topic »you do not pay attention to me», but I could not change anything. And suddenly I was so tired of all this, looked at myself from the side and saw an exhausted woman with circles under her eyes. I took leave at my own expense and flew off to rest. One. I suddenly realized that I was not doing my own thing. When she returned, enrolled in the course of designers and soon changed jobs. And in the evenings I went to the school of the Spanish language. I have achieved harmony with myself. My husband observed with admiration my changes and admitted that he fell in love with me even more than the first time »
It turns out that the problem is solved simply - loveYourself, and others will love you. Ladies, let us love ourselves first, take care of ourselves, make presents, travel, enjoy life, pamper ourselves, groom and cherish. A husband will not remain indifferent!
