Resorting to talk about sex, only tofind out about our personal lives, you are at the root of ruin a conversation. When you ask a question of the personal in these conversations, it puts us in a terribly uncomfortable position. Many kids immediately abandon such a conversation.
My father took me into his office at home whenI was 14, and invited me to sit down. He said it was time to tell me about some vital matters. So he said one thing, then another, and I answered: »Sure, Dad, of course, I know it.» Suddenly, he was furious and shouted: »How do you know everything? What do you do? Are you having sex? »That was the last time I talked to him on this topic. How could he expect that I will talk to him when forced to talk about me, what I never wanted to tell him. »
Lee, 17 years, Bellingham, Washington
I asked what's wrong with making the parents, asking teenagers about their sex life.
I never questioned about their sex life! It is all very private. I want to respect my privacy, just as I respect them.
Jack, 18, Queens, NY
And why do they want to know? The only reason to use anything against me. »Well, Sid, we just want to understand you better.» That's right. I'm not a fool. I know, if I say: »I had sex,» I will not be allowed to approach to any guy, even at 10 meters.
Sid, 16 years, Morristown, New Jersey
Мне кажется, не важно, в каком мы классе. Беседовать с нами следует на каждом этапе нашего сексуального развития. Вы, скорее всего, никогда точно не узнаете о нашем сексуальном опыте, поэтому лучше предположить, что наш опыт больше, чем вы полагаете. Помните: почти все подростки, с кем я общался, говорили, что они более продвинуты в сексе, чем считают их родители. Расспрашивая взрослую дочь о ее сексуальной жизни, вы не добьетесь ничего, в особенности если между вами нет доверия по вопросам секса. Когда нас вынуждают целовать вас и говорить вам всю правду, скорее всего, мы скажем неправду. Кроме того, при таком подходе вы не станете для нас тем человеком, кому мы сможем доверять и с кем мы сможем говорить открыто.
