One of my patient got divorced when his son was fourteen years old. They with his ex-wife shared custody of the boy. Father had always set strict boundaries, and the mother is mostly indulged child. As a result of the parent condoning the boy felt that he is entitled to get whatever they want, without hassle and long wait. He left College last year, and his mother continued to help him.
Recently I met his patient, and he told me that his twenty-five year old son got the inheritance, and with a special caveat: at the end of the study. Guess what did the guy in the same day, as received the money? Transferred to the account chosen University? Far from it — he bought himself a new car. Wait, work is not for him. The father was distressed, knowing that his son was most likely before long you'll spend in the same spirit.
In adolescence the ability to postpone pleasure is one of the most important qualities. The source of his parents, respectful of boundaries, and a reasonable attitude towards the pleasures. This in itself is a boon, and we teach kids, but that pleasure was long, the need to work hard.
Put fun from this you will only win.
To teach the child to wait, try to observe the border where you can control them, and then the child himself will be able to observe the limits where it depends on him. For example, to prepare your child for the need to delay sexual relations for that period of life when you will not be able to control it, make him be expected to purchase new sports equipment, while he does not scopic half the required amount, wait for buying the car, unless he pay at least part of its value, or give him to use my car on condition that he will participate in the costs, determine participation in a Christmas ski trip good grades for a quarter, etc.
Is not the content of the conditions, and that the child could delay your fun until then, until you deserve it. Restrain his rage, his screams: "not Fair! Bill is already there!" Sympathize with him, because it is not easy to reconcile with this idea, encourage him and provide the path to the realization of desire, but not relive his life too, do not buy off it. Let your child understand the cause — time fun — hour. This principle is very useful to him in life.
