Родители подростков часто чувствуют собственную несостоятельность. Их мучают вопросы типа: «А правильно ли я поступил в данной ситуации?». Вы испытывали подобные чувства? Если вы все время задаете вопросы такого рода, значит, вы правильно себя ведете. Положение может казаться безнадежным, но оно скорее всего лучше, чем вы себе представляете.
Вы можете пребывать в состоянии нервного напряжения и разлада в тот период, когда в вашем доме живут подростки, и это приводит вас в смятение и терзает вашу душу. Разлад и ссоры — вещь неприятная, но они указывают на то, что каналы общения с ребенком у вас пока еще открыты. Такая открытая борьба намного лучше холодной войны, когда члены семьи перестают разговаривать друг с другом.
As hard as you may be to get along with young people,Leave the door open friendliness, love and communication. Be firm but loving. Your teenager may behave hostile, irritable, moody, and be closed, even to rebel against you. Perhaps you can not make the mind what to do with it, and you want to get away from him, give him a rebuff or ask him to leave the house. But always remember: the more difficult the child, the more he needs your love and care. Perhaps he will reject all your efforts, but never reject it. You are a mature man, a problem child is still fledgling chick. You may well be able to make a decision to behave in times of stress as a mature person, and your child has not yet learned to do this. If you act firmly, but with love, no matter what painful circumstances you happen to be, someday your behavior will bring great dividends in the future because your son or daughter will charge you an example.
I regret what has been done orwhich was not done, only exacerbates the situation. Fear of the future is often clouds our minds, and we lose the ability to distinguish legitimate from irrational guilt guilt complex. Each new problem is further strengthens in us a sense of their own inadequacy, yet oppressive sense of guilt does not paralyze us completely. If we can not openly and honestly deal with feelings of guilt, it will ruin our relationship with spouse and other children in the family, and our relatives, and colleagues. Complex of guilt - is a thief, stealing from us the joy of life.
Recent studies in the field of child developmentIt indicates that the child's temperament is much stronger influence on its development than we previously thought. We were taught that the all-powerful parent, and the child is helpless. We all understand what a strong impact on the child has a parent but We underestimate the child's participation in their own development. Родителям следует понимать разницу между влиянием и контролем. И то, и другое можно осуществлять в раннем детстве, но родителям следует ослабить волоки, когда ребенок превращается в подростка. Далее во взаимоотношениях с маленькими детьми родителям нужно избегать слишком жесткого контроля. Каждый ребенок — это уникальная личность, имеющая свою волю и способная принимать решения.
The Bible shows us that God values peopleDespite their failure. Your personal dignity and individual qualities does not depend on what you have achieved and what could not achieve in the field of parenting. Appreciate your dignity! Only then can you get rid of the complexguilt and help your child to go through a painful adolescence. Your child has dignity, even if he chooses not to the values that you would like to instill in him. It is necessary to allow the child to develop its own system of values and live the life which he himself chooses. The older the child becomes, the less we can control it, but at the same time increases our ability to influence it.
Родителям нужно помнить, что за предосудительным поведением скрывается личность, имеющая собственное достоинство. Как мы с Гарри жалеем о том, что нам не всегда удавалось видеть внутренние установки наших детей, скрывавшиеся за их внешним поведением! Поведение — это всего лишь симптом встревоженного подростка, неспособного справиться с давлением, которое оказывает на него жизнь. Что произошло бы с нами, если бы наши взаимоотношения с Богом зависели от нашего поведения? В один день мы могли бы наслаждаться любовью и благоволением Бога, а в другой чувствовать отверженность. Бог не игнорирует наше поведение, но Он также и не отвергает нас за плохое поведение. Его пример безусловной любви — это образец, которому мы должны подражать в наших взаимоотношениях со своенравными подростками.
Maybe in a while you will be hurt andshame, and nothing can remove the emotional pain. Only our children are able to cause such offense. What should parents do? Maybe, remember the promise contained in Proverbs. 22: 6? It says that if we thoroughly instruct our children in the beginning of their way of life, they will not depart from it when older. You are entering into a period of awareness of the terrible guilt. You wait, pray and hope. But how can this go on?
Do not you ever stay in such difficultcircumstances, and you need to come to terms with them. You can not get rid of the pain, but in your power to make the decision to look to the future. Resist the temptation to focus only on the negative side of life, or on the negative qualities of your teenager. Do not lose hope for the future. Hold on! Oh, how difficult it is to parents through the night when they do not know where at this time of their wandering teenager!
Also, remember that your maturingadolescents have the right to make certain decisions about their future. With responsibility for the decisions taken by them, for his behavior and the consequences arising therefrom.
Finally, put your trust in the Lord. Psalm 36 can help you survive if you feel that you are drowning. If you can rely on a Higher Power, then you get a deep comfort in the difficult time when your child becomes a teenager. But not for a moment forget that no amount of prayer makes an impression on the young man, and the changes in our lives through prayer. Here's what can touch the heart of a teenager! God loves your teenager love eternal. His Son died to save your son and your daughter. Are your children will be able to see God's love in your personal example?