One of the most important qualities for parents, prosperous promoting the flow of the integration process, - the ability be the object of hatred. This belief may seem strange, butThe fact that the child fails to integrate its good and bad emotions, if you are not able to tolerate the anger directed at you. For the process of integration is very important objection, and if you are afraid of the fury of a teenager and you are departing, let him break the border, there is no integration. Codependency codependent parents raise children. It is necessary to enable the child to feel angry or frustrated.
On the other hand, if you respond to angeranger, it also causes the splitting. The right decision - to abide by the prescribed rules, but not to deny the child in sympathy. »Yes, you're mad at me. Of course, you are furious at the fact that you can not go with the guys. But it is not discussed. It is a pity that we had you so upset. » This kind of hard, but without anger response to prevent a child to engage you in a »power struggle» and thus avoid making processes of reality and sorrow. Hold firmly, ask your child empathy and love - and the process will go the right way: by protest the teenager goes to the trouble, and then to acceptance of reality. But this will happen only if you are able to resist.
The result
If all goes according to plan, you will be able to secure the child in the nature of those qualities that will serve them throughout life. Your child will develop the ability to:
• To be youreself,
• accept failure and defeat,
• to forgive and to accept forgiveness,
• tolerated,
• failure to meet face to face and learn from it,
• solve problems and move toward its goal,
• enjoy life, not forcing himself to be »perfect»
• real love, far from perfect people
• strive for the ideal, even if it is far away or when on the road to failure overtakes him.
Эти свойства характера помогут вашему ребенку прожить хорошую жизнь даже вдалеке от рая. Конечно, эта жизнь не будет совершенной, но она будет хорошей и удовлетворительной. Ребенок станет стремиться к идеалу и никогда не достигнет его, но извлечет удовольствие и полезный урок из самого процесса. И вы убедитесь, что справились со своей задачей и научили ребенка жить в реальном мире.
In the next article we will discuss the realities of this world.
