Loving parents want the child, »everything waswell in life. » »All is well» it includes functional aspects of life, how people cope with it. I understand it can be different: for one this good job, financial well-being, different enough that he grew up with honest, hard-working man.
Эти желания родителей осуществятся только в том случае, если они воспитают в ребенке ответственность. Ребенок, понявший, что ответственность идет ему на пользу, взял хороший старт в жизни. Ответственность — the ability to cope with life as with his own problem. Ребенок, понимающий это, осознает, что, какова бы ни была проблема, ситуация, обстоятельства, в конечном счете все зависит от него. Ответственные люди гораздо успешнее строят свои отношения, продвигаются по службе, осуществляют свои жизненные планы. Они не ждут, что кто-то обеспечит им успех, они действуют, находят выход из любого сложного положения. Вы же не думаете всерьез, что где-то боги собрались на совет и обсуждают, как выправить вашу жизнь?
Responsible children understand that they themselves mustto solve their problems. Yes, parents love them, appreciate, and sometimes indulge, but they have their duties in life - from the prohibition does not run in the house to fulfill the requirement to bring the school a high enough score. Anyway, the child is always busy with something, and parents should help him to structure time and energy in such a way that is conducive to the development of responsibility.
Children incorporate a sense of responsibility,are free to take a good, ethical decisions. Responsibility creates freedom. When the child »belongs» to his life, he is convinced that the responsibility of making this a better life, and the irresponsible actions entail bad consequences. Children acquire the freedom to behave according to their values, they are not slaves to their whims and immaturity. For example, when a teenager tempted to have sex outside of marriage, smoke marijuana, to communicate with a bad crowd, he will cope with temptation in the event that it already has sufficient experience of free choice in other areas of life. He did not succumb to the first impulse or desire to rebel against adult authority, and will be able to assess the situation and figure out what will be the long-term effects, even wrong choice. Earn the right to freedom, man is free to abandon the bad.
This is an important point: freedom necessary for good ethical choices still have to »earn». Some experts now argue that the order is enough to choose good child and give up bad or simply to explain to him how dangerous a bad choice. The first approach, we can label as »the main thing - choice» and the second as »the main thing - information.» Of course, the information and the specific choice is always important, but the child should always exercise in self-control, learning to delay gratification of desire, to take the established boundaries and install them yourself. Only then he can choose the good and reject evil. Or do you consider that five year old boy who has a little sister, you need only say, »Billy, you'd better stop. Mind you, it hurts »? Billy likely realizes that sister is sick - because he did something and peel. To stop it, we need different words and actions.
Main responsibility is to functionthat it results in love action. We are all created in order to make and develop a good relationship. God wants us to reflect and to continue his good nature in themselves and in their relations with others. We live on the ground in order to communicate to one another of His love. Responsibility helps us to keep this love, to share it with each other, to multiply it. A sense of responsibility does not allow us to limit ourselves to a passive acceptance and experience of love - it is necessary to raise it. We are created to increase the love of good deeds assigned to us by God (see. Ephesians 2:10). Relationship - the basis and the meaning of existence. Responsibility strengthens and protects the relationship.
Love alone is not enough - so it does not withered,necessary responsibility. You can call yourself a lot of marriages, broken, in spite of the mutual love of the spouses, because one of the partners violated their responsibility to this love, no longer comply with its duty to the spouse. I knew one family in which the husband is constantly lied to his wife, hid the truth from her and their budget, and their habits, and the work. After another exposing wife again and again tried to restore the old intimacy, but in the end she said: »I do not feel love for him, because I do not trust him.» Mutual trust, respect, dignity and honor, nourish love. If one partner is too often leads another, without bearing any responsibility for their actions, love languishes and dies.
human life from the very beginning includedyourself and love, and work. Adam and Eve were in a perfect relationship with God and with each other, but they were at all should not sit on the ground, »staying» in bliss. They are being given an important assignment: »And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth» ( Genesis 1:28). Even then, in the world, untouched by sin, a man entrusted with certain responsibilities.
Since childhood, responsible people develop a set of skills that enable them to cope well with the challenges and opportunities encountered in life:
• To make decisions
• Finding a way out of trouble
• Be honest, even if it hurts
• Structured love
• Take the initiative
• Monitor yourself
• resist evil
• To reject the bad
• To make a free choice
• Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them
• Doing good deeds
• Actively participate in life
• postpone the satisfaction of desire
• Strive to its target
• To live in accordance with their system of values
• come into conflict in the name of truth and justice
• Must be solid and virtuous man
• Protect the weak and the oppressed
Affection and responsibility must increasein your child at the same time, just as you have to, raising a child, combine grace and truth. When they are separated, it is bad for the child and his world. So, many very loving but irresponsible children are affectionate, ready to dialogue, nice, but in the best case they can not be relied on, and at worst they are completely out of control. Have you ever seen how such a child, it is loved by all and zalaskat, brings close your mind? It is worth to his parents start a conversation with other adults, he would kill them immediately and require everyone's attention - now it will make the wheel. And parents beaming look on his leprosy. That's a problem child becomes a problem all around. He himself has no control over his life.
In such situations, the lack of responsibility of the child is not paying, and some of his relatives.
A friend of mine even sworn never to have childrenafter he observes the life of his large friends. Once he went to visit his friend. His three teenage sons were sitting in the office and watching television. They shouted to my mother, so she opened the door. When the guest entered, the boys smiled at him and held friendly, but mute the TV did not occur. The mother ran to the kitchen, a guest went after her and found that she washes all the plates after dinner - and his, and his sons. When the visitor is about to leave, the guys did not even look out to say goodbye to him.
- If it is so expensive, I'd better not let us take it upon himself - he told me.
He saw the children, figuratively speaking, dodebt, and his mother is paying for them. No matter how nice or had a child, it must necessarily be familiar with the feeling of responsibility. Love can not exist without restrictions.
