AN AUTHORITARIAN PARENT. Some parents believe a mandatory duty to dominate, dictate and impose their will on a child, completely crushing it. They come up with one punishment after another and the child lives in constant fear, waiting for retribution. Children growing up in very authoritarian families with harsh discipline, often pugnacious and disobedient troublemakers in school. They are nervous and irritable. Since the will of the child is constantly suppressed, he is not able to learn to make their own decisions. Feelings of anger and resentment often take root in his soul, and subsequently result in open hostility.
A LIBERAL PARENT. In this case, the reins are in the hands of the child, parents and fulfill his slightest whim. Since parents cannot control the child's behaviour, and he, in turn, have not learned to control their behavior, disciplining such a child is extremely difficult. The unbridled temper of a child makes his parents the subject of frequent jokes from others. When bad temper often, parents experience extreme embarrassment. Their nerves are always tense, and they prefer to stay home so as not to interrupt his ill-mannered offspring in a public place. Such a child does not respect neither parents nor strangers, nor someone else's property. Eventually he might accumulate more emotional problems than the child brought up in an authoritarian family.
Parental liberalism does not produce on your baby no impression, for he concludes that parents don't care how he behaves and what will become of him. He has no respect for parents who lack the fortitude to make the necessary moral decisions in everyday life. Don't flatter yourself with hope, if you help a child, dozvola him to do anything.
UNLOVING PARENT, Numerous studies of children in different institutions confirm the long-term value of parental love and attention in the early years of a child's life. Dr. Rene Spitz, a psychoanalyst from new York, three months watched the reactions of infants in the house of foundlings, the medical staff which was so heavily loaded that every child "was only a tenth of the mother." According to the estimates of Dr. Spitz 30 percent of infants died in their first year of life. "Without emotional satisfaction, children die, — concludes Dr. Spitz. — Emotional hunger is no less dangerous than physiological. It kills slowly, but no less successful".
In the worst case unloving parents do not pay the child any attention, throw him or cruelly treated. In the courts for young offenders understands more and more of these cases. However, sociologists are concerned is much stronger than the other, not less widespread and insidious type of rejection that has been used by many parents are: severe punishment, constant criticism, the only discussion of the shortcomings of the child, the child imposing unacceptable or unrealistic rules, and humiliation by comparing his shortcomings with the advantages of other children.
THE PARENT-OWNER. Some short-sighted parents, acting with the best of intentions, do not allow their children to grow and develop in a natural way. Under the pretext of love and care they did not allow their children to take calculated risks or do anything on her own, with the excuse that their children need "help". They want children to be as close as possible to him and completely depended on them. Others link all their hopes and dreams with the future of the child. Often this happens in cases when the parent does not receive emotional satisfaction from other sources and literally needs her child to feel like an adult. Child need parent, but the parent does not have the same meaning to the child in need.
Proprietary claims, excessive care or spermatrinken love is a cover or compensation for an unconscious rejection. The mother may feel guilty, because deep down, overwhelmed with your child. It drowns out that feeling, about the kid showing excessive concern and anxiety. We can't protect your child from life, and we should not even try to do that, but we have to teach him to bravely endure life's challenges.
THE OPPOSITE EXTREMES. Often problems arise from the fact that the parents have opposite views on education and the correction of the child. One of the parents can be harsh and domineering, the other tries to be more balanced, sociable and less restrictive.
It's hard to step back when you think that your(a) spouse(s) improperly disciplines a child, but that's what you need to do! The child will suffer much more serious damage if you his eyes will start to argue about how to handle it. If you do not agree with the actions or words of his(her) spouse(s), talk alone, but in any case not in the presence of a child.
Although parents differ from each other in temperament, methods of communication and reactions, their offspring quickly learns to talk with each of them. He quickly learns who is stronger, who is softer and accordingly adjust their behaviour and reactions. Although parents may use different tactics of education, the child will try to adapt their behavior and, most likely, will grow normally and to develop, if only to learn that his parents are unified in the main! If he realizes that can "divide and conquer", most likely uses its output against both of you. Your offspring § need to feel safe and a sense of security grows and takes root in the garden of sequential methods. If a kid sees one parent tries to compensate shortcomings of the other, or if he sees one parent contradicts the other, as they argue among themselves or discredit the position of Each other, he will not be able to feel safe. Parents trying to work together, remember the following slogan: "In unity is our strength, our division in the fall."
A child needs discipline in a loving atmosphere, and knowledgeable parents always avoid extremes in love or punishment. If you love your child this parental love, we will be able to discipline him on the basis of correct combination of love and control.
