You must learn one very important thing: parents, like you, do not crave war. Just like you, they want peaceful coexistence. If you are the family turned into a battlefield, if you want sympathy and understanding, then thought for a moment about what the parents want this, too. But remember also that they are people too, and not just a machine for servicing you, a loved one, not Christmas bag with gifts, from which at any time must crumble gifts just for you.
But they are also not torturers and normal people,which is the same as you are, born to be happy. Yes, they are irritable, stubborn and unfair. But most - generous, patient and kind. Who else will forgive you all your tricks and whims? They do it almost every day, because they love you.
Your parents, like all living things, greatamenable to education. Foster better not whip (tantrums, pout, rudeness, stubbornness, and so on. P.), And carrot. Think about it, really you can not agree with your loved ones? Look carefully at the following precepts.
The commandments to educate parents
1. Attend to the parents. Interest, how are you feeling, how are you at workand so on. n. The older you are, the more your parents experiencing separation from family. They fear you become useless, are afraid that you do not love them anymore. And sometimes their petty nit-picking and intrusive questions - only the means to attract your attention. Pays a conversation with mom-dad half an hour a day. They will perceive you as a source of heat. And attentive, caring man harder than ever deny. So your efforts are not wasted.
2. Sometimes asks parents about the past, of their youth. People are very grateful to all those with whom they can recall his younger years. In addition, you can learn a lot of interesting and unexpected for itself, and, by the way, was surprised to discover that your parents have similar problems. Perhaps their experience will help you.
3. Create a confidential atmosphere. Рассказывай о себе. Безусловно, ты имеешь право на личную жизнь. Вовсе не обязательно выкладывать все, как под пыткой. Но если ты будешь молчать, как партизан на допросе, родители могут вообразить, что ты куда более страшный грешник, чем на самом деле. Если ты будешь изо дня в день хранить гробовое молчание просто потому, что тебе неохота лишний раз открыть рот перед отсталыми «предками», они вправе подумать, что ты скрываешь от них нечто ужасное. И справедливо постараются ограничить твою свободу. А ведь ты этого не хочешь?
4. Разрушай страхи. Родители начитались и наслушались о всяческих кошмарах современной жизни. Если ты познакомился с девушкой и не спешишь привести ее в дом, мама думает, что это, скорее всего, легкомысленная девица, а то и похуже. У них ассоциации простые: «пьянки-гулянки-наркотики-разврат». Познакомь домашних с друзьями. Пусть близкие убедятся: ничего дурного вы не делаете!
5. If you can not really commit to anything the mother and father, think carefully: what if this »something» - and indeed unworthy of activity?
6. help parents form their parent image as a perfect teacher, with which it is possible to consult, you cantrust, etc. To this end, it slips modern literature about parenting teenagers -.. especially American authors. There's a lot written about the freedom of self-education, the right of the individual to self-determination.
7. Prove that you are »not the only one.» Let mom and dad are watching with you youth programs, read teen magazines, for the opportunity to listen to modern music.
8. If you want to know the reaction of relatives for some your decision and are afraid that it will be sharply negative, therefore choose indirect method of consultation. Расскажи о своем друге или подруге, которые попали в трудную ситуацию. Попроси совета. Скорректируй свое поведение согласно услышанному. Это поможет тебе избежать крупного скандала.
9. Bear in mind: your parents much easier would react to the problems of your friends than to your own. With them, they will be ready to recall that »they themselves were young,» that »learn from mistakes» and so on. D. For someone else does not hurt so much, and not so embarrassing as their own. So on occasion you can to bring their parents to the real problems of your friends. You'll see how useful their experience, their knowledge of life. And at the same time they are proud of the confidence of youth. Accustomed to speak to his son or daughter's friends as a man who can be trusted with all the difficult moment they are ready to meet you, too. Note: Do not forget once in a while to talk to parents that you appreciate their understanding, their patience, their trust.
10. If you want to ask about something important to you, do not suddenly falls upon your requirements as a bucket of cold water! Start training from afar. Not on the forehead: »Dad, I need a DVD-player.» But beforehand, about three months, begin to devote the subtleties of your father's interest in music. Do not get the music at full volume, and then deafened parents hardly be able to hear your requests. Turn on the music of moderate and more or less accessible to the uninitiated. Teach parents to understand the group name and the names of the idols. Prove that your hobby seriously - and parents will meet you. This general advice is, of course, is not just music.
eleven. Do not demand independence, and manifest it! As you can trust to go on tourwith friends in another city, if you forget the house to lay your bed and do not clean up their dishes. How can you let go of the party late, even if you are out of school not manage to arrive on time? In fact, prove that you are an adult, trustworthy person. Keep your word. If you agreed with the parents that you would come, say, at nine, then at least be kind - come at the appointed time, and even better - a little earlier - my mother will be happy. Take a part of household duties voluntarily. Try to earn some money to buy yourself some fashionable thing, instead of being blackmailed, humiliated and beg. Now, many young people work, opportunities for that. Manifested awareness - for the pope in politics and science, for the mother - where it is sold more cheaply. If a person behaves like an adult - to him and relate, respectively.
Try to apply these precepts into practice. In less than six months, your parents will brag to friends that they had with you there is no problem and you understand each other.
