Who is responsible for the maturity of grown children, for his willingness to go out into the world? You or the child? This is an important question, and the answer significantly affects the relationship between parents and children. The answers are sometimes just the opposite. Some people consider all the failures and achievements of the child in adult life mainly as guilt or merit of the parents. These people are diligently trying to help the child grow up and in his adult years to see direct results of their efforts. Others, however, believe that the responsibility mainly rests with the child: "I did everything I could, and then he chooses," they say.
The question of the responsibility of parents and children, we follow three principles.
1. There is a shared responsibility within the relationship of parents and children change over time, thereby changing the nature of the liability. At the beginning of life all the duties of the child are to feel their needs and perception of vital elements, and the parents assume full responsibility for their child. As the child becomes aware of themselves, learns something and becomes to some extent self-sufficient, it gains partial control over their lives, and parents respectively partly lose the manual. In early adolescence the parents gradually "abdicate the throne" — their controlling function in the child's life is replaced by the function of influence. By the time when the age of a person approaching the age of twenty, he must be ready to fully accept responsibility for their behavior, the budget, moral qualities and relations.
2. Although the nature of the liability changes over time, the parents and child to have their very specific and separate responsibilities: parents must provide child with love and reliability, to structure his early life experience to help the maturation of the child, and the child gains experience, responds to it, dare to risk, fails and learns her lesson. Parents and children can't replace in this process, each other, everyone must do their part. Parents asking their child whether they cope with their role, knowingly do wrong. One can hardly consider the question, "do you mind if you mind to come home at a certain time?" the expression of parental authority. Even more problems making a child trying to take responsibility for the feelings of the parents.
3. Ultimately, only the child is responsible for his life. There are no perfect parents; each child receives from parents not only benefits but also harm. The experience of the first years of childhood determines the lifetime, specifies the type of a person, what will be this baby when he grows up. And yet in the end, man will be judged not according to the circumstances and environment of his childhood, and how he takes life. Is he able to love? The ability to serve God? If he grows, changes, learns to forgive?
The Bible says that in the end all of us call to report the good and the evil deeds done in life (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). Today your child is learning to distinguish between what he ought to do and what not. But with every step he must move the entire fullness of responsibility for his life and soul.
