Speaking about Cayo, I tried to show how much importance has the number of dedicated child time. Kayo gave us much more than is normally expected from a coach, working on a voluntary basis. But kayo saw his task not only to prepare for the match football team of kids. This work gave him the opportunity to spend time with his two sons, and we all got over the love and care that Cayo was devoted to his sons. He spent us so much time that we were able to develop the athletes needed skills.

Can you imagine what it's like to go out on their first match, not having sufficient training? What would happen if kayo has decided that for children is important "quality time" if he stayed with us for an hour of such "quality" time every week and in this way prepared us for the game? Nothing good would come out.

And why not it's all about quality time? Why the number?

First of all we must remember: children — living organisms. Can be likened to them, such as plants. They grow up — this verb itself implies movement, not stay static. Growth is a continuous, permanent process. Children grow, and we need the confidence that they grow in the right direction.

Imagine that you have planted in the garden vine. The vine is alive, it will begin to grow. But how and in what direction it will grow, healthy or sick she will grow depends entirely on you. If you neglect your garden, the vine will still grow, but it is likely that she will choose a bad direction for growth and as a result will be not too healthy. And then the neighbor will come to you and say, "Your vine moved to my garden, scoring a drain pipe, so you have to pay for the repairs" or "Your vine rot-damaged, she gave my roses. Will reimburse losses to me".

Yes, children grow up anyway, but without your help they choose the direction of growth and you can move into someone else's garden to invade where they don't belong, to cause damage or to pick up some kind of rot, the contagion that will destroy their growth. Of course, not all plants are moving into someone else's garden, and not all incorrectly developing children become criminals. It also happens that they're choking, killing themselves. Uncut vines may become tangled in his own spikes, and children often are confused in themselves, with the problems of growth to such an extent that no longer able to cope with them. Outwardly, they do not manifest themselves, all processes take place deep inside. These children fall into a depression, avoiding contact, fear, lack of self-confidence. They may try drugs or other ways to escape from life.

So, the amount paid to the child-time is of paramount importance because the child will grow in any case and the growth process happens all the time. You must accompany your child at each stage of his life, and that takes time. Not to miss anything. Of course, you can't live with the child every moment of his existence, sometimes you need to get away for the day or even for a few days. But you should not be excluded from this process. Watering the plant, the gardener for some time leaves him alone and gives him to grow, but occasionally returning to it, to ensure it does not suffer from lack or excess of water. This is a working project that you devote some time, and then lay aside because there were more urgent matters. The child grows constantly, and you should always be able to watch the process of his growth.

However, the amount of time is important because children as they grow incorporate the phenomena of the external world, so parents must ensure that they incorporate their children. As an analogy we can give an example with the car, in a tank which is poured gasoline. The child moving along its development path, takes from you the necessary items, like a car takes in gasoline and turns it into energy. Child takes love and discipline, and turns them into nature. To fill the tank of the machine, requires time, and the motors need some time to process the fuel and to generate energy for the whole journey. The motor can't suck up all the time, twenty liters, and in the blink of an eye to get you to your destination. The entire volume of fuel is distributed in time. Time cannot fill it and it is impossible to absorb at once — you need to be patient.

And the child should gradually "digest" the amount of love and discipline that you give to him. He needs to take them in yourself, to realize, to embed in the structure, are inseparably connected with his brain, to test them in practice, so that they become and the bodily skill to adjust them in accordance with this practice, once again to incorporate, but in a different way, and to obtain additional fuel, to perform integration. All this long process requires parents to time-consuming and needs to provide "fuel" as it is required to it. It is impossible to give children a huge supply of "fuel" once, in a moment of "quality" time because they will not be able to distribute this "fuel" on the stages of the path.

But quantity time is also important because that character development the child needs to grow in communion with other people. Many face serious problems because some aspects of their personality evolved out of the relationship. I'll give you one example from the life of an adult.

Deborah was a gifted and knowledgeable person, but when at work had a situation in which she had to defend their opinion, she was persecuted anxiety attacks, scaring the idea that you have to openly Express their ideas to colleagues. Deborah was unafraid to include certain aspects of their personality in relationships. When we had to open up to others who she really is, how she thinks, what he desires, this thirty-five year old woman into a panic. The same fear prompted her to choose not too attentive friends, not interested in her needs. If a person is afraid to reveal some aspects of his personality in relations with others, he usually tends to choose his friends, not capable of communication, what this person actually needs.

Deborah's parents are unable to provide it in childhood "fuel" that was needed for her development of confidence. Father Deborah was not, and the mother of any manifestation of self-confidence seemed dangerous, so the girl was hiding this aspect of his personality deep within. Gradually she has this trait is beginning to cause alarm. This had two reasons: first, the aspect of personality like confidence, remained unavailable for Deborah, even when she needed it. Secondly, when she felt the presence of this trait of his personality, we still felt the fear of punishment. Moreover, because Deborah did not dare to stand up for herself, she was very vulnerable.

The child should be given the opportunity to feel and show all the traits of his character in dealing with you. It needs again and again in the process of growth to live in a relationship with you such aspects of his personality:

• requirements

• weakness,

• vulnerability,

• pain,

• mount,

• anger,

• force

• failure

• ability and opinions

• self-assertion,

• sincerity,

• sexuality.

If you devote enough time to each of these aspects, the child will be able to integrate all the traits of his personality in the relationship, he will not remain hidden, split aspects of the character. This experience requires a large amount of time. In fact, the amount of experience is directly proportional to the amount of time that you spend on. You have to be sure you're not just "spending time" with the child, but also help the child to reveal all of the properties listed with his personality.

So, quality time is not all, it also requires a certain amount of it. Take the time for your child — these costs will pay off handsomely.