even a thought for any parent that histhe child can pick up and leave the house in an unknown direction - is the worst of all possible nightmares. It frightens all - where to look for him, to whom he will, what will be the live and much more. Although parents should worry in the first place is not secondary consequences, and the primary reason, to get the child to take this step ...
Let's try to figure out why children leave home, and how to prevent it.
Possible causes and problems
It's no secret to any parent that behaviorTheir children with age becomes all unpredictable and self-willed. How many books have been written, how many instructing films have been removed, how many therapies and courses have been invented - all is useless. ? Auditors do not want to follow advice, but even listen to them and their own children, not to mention trying to understand their problems. It is easier for them to solve any issue by prohibition or punishment, rather than distract from their favorite TV series or telephone conversation with friends. And then - after all, they always and better understand everything better, they are much more educated, much wiser and further on the list. It is possible to continue indefinitely this list of reasons that many of the parents hide behind. They do not understand only one thing - to understand and help the child, you need to become yourself for a short time. Not always your experience can help, because often problems in modern adolescents arise in those areas where adults are said to be »no boom-boom» or their knowledge is already hopelessly outdated. And the problem can arise from scratch, growing day by day like a snowball: first you refused to buy some fashionable thing (for example, in a store http://www.smileforthemother.ru) Without explanation, then forbidden to be friendswith a classmate, who, in your opinion, have a negative effect on your child, and then set a new rule, without taking into account the views of the child ... and that you have already turned from the closest and beloved person in the world in an implacable enemy.
Misunderstanding or lack of attention - The most common cause. If you are plunged headlong into the job, your hobby or passion if no longer interested in the life of your child, if you do problems seem too petty and unworthy of attention, or do you all day long quarrel with her husband - you've made a huge step in to push her child to escape. Even if it looks like a small prickly hedgehog, which his whole appearance shows that no account does not need to - it's not! Brambles and aggression - it's just defensive reaction to your wrong actions! Remember the last time you praised your child for what he diligently perform household duties? When he bought a small gift for no reason? When you are showing your pride for his success? Consider, finally, that your endless screams and tantrums only make the child clamped in itself, sometimes even hate you, and no desire to reform you will not get. The only thing that you will see in response to their actions - closed door.
Permanent bans. That forbidden fruit is sweet - everybody knowssince birth. The more you forbid your child, the more he desires to escape from under your care and taste these fruits. If you think banning everything - new companies, disco evenings, hiking with friends in the club, and another - thus you protect it, try to explain it to a child. If he tries to argue, do not raise your voice, do not start to refer to their experience, and hear it! Perhaps things are not as scary as you might seem, and the new guy - is the son of you know, the club is just a 15-minute walk from the house, and meeting friends will be held at one of the classmates you can always call. If you see a potential danger to the child, try as gently as possible and in detail explain it to a child. Do not consider it a little silly, followed keep an eye. Believe me, if you start to talk to him as an adult, he will appreciate and listen more willingly to your advice.
We have listed only the most common problems, althoughin fact there are many more. First love, pushing on recklessness, classmates problem, the lack of pocket money, your problems with her husband or other relatives, even problems with appearance - all of which can cause a child's desire to run aimlessly.
To avoid this, you should create a homean atmosphere of warmth and care that the child was where to go back, that he was sure that his home will always be waiting for loving and understanding parents, and not the power tyrants with high self-esteem and inability to listen to others. If your child has started to withdraw into themselves, or even threaten to leave the house - it does not mean you have to heat up the situation even more accusations and quarrels. It is better to think about what went wrong, and even better in your relationship - talk alone with a child. Did you see the situation is not on the side, which are used to see and be able to change it. Good luck!
