Those parents and professionals who work withautistic, understand that when we say »autistic» or »autistic», we are referring to »autistic» or »person with autism». But those of us who live under one roof with an autistic child, and she loved him, and forced to live in an atmosphere of constant lack of information and unfair stereotypes imposed by the outside world. Whether we like it or not, but the word »autistic» still can not find in most people a correct understanding of, or solicitation to remove the labels and look a little further, to see the person as a whole, with all its abilities and drawbacks. The most common response: »Oh, yes, crazy, out of this world, all the self-absorbed,» that is the first thing they say and think - it's limitations.
I'm not a fan of unconditionalpolitical correctness. I do not propose to simply replace the word »autistic» to »a child with autism.» The fact that I do see how words can advance to a misconception about the man and his capabilities.
The word »autistic» - very accurate. But there are other equally precise words with which we describe people: an old maid, a cripple, guest worker. Of course, the fact that a person has not created a family or suffered an injury, limit his mobility, has an impact on his life, but it does not define its character completely.
Some may use the word »autistic» asdefinition ready, and they do so not by limitations or prejudice. So remember that the result of »replacing the term» does not appear immediately, a process that requires time. In order to effect change, you need time and practice, even training. Of course, now established opinion and attitudes towards people with autism spectrum disorders do not change in a day. Give yourself and others the time and opportunity for this transformation.
I personally even now avoid use of the word»Autistic» in the description of my son. I'm in this to help a curious dictionary of synonyms, where the word »autism» was presented in a pair with the words »sick, the crippled,» and was accompanied by a staggering list of 155 related terms, which included katatonichny, bezemotsionalny, greedy, heartless, narcissistic, soulless, insensitive, not allowing the touch. I bet none of these words does not describe any of my or your child. For my son, I have developed my own list of related terms, selected for his seven years of »life on a submarine»: Successful involved, aged, able-bodied, confident, unique, kind, courteous, reliable and accurate.
All of what constitutes autism is nota nightmare in itself, although, of course, some of the components are close to it, and sometimes they can seem much worse than all the rest. But in the long run, and it was she, and important, are the features that you select in your child, in the final analysis will be fundamental in the formation of his character. You have the power, unparalleled, you can see the future. Consciously or not, hundreds of times a day you make decisions that affect your future. Forget the gloom, try to draw a future of your child in bright and cheerful colors. It is difficult, but doable task!
In deciding, every time we analyze howit will affect our future, although it is often not even aware of this. Each of us at least once violated the wise rule »do not judge a book by its cover.» Theoretically, we all understand that this is a very wise and fair comment, but in practice we often judge people at first glance.
Возьмем, к примеру, такое определение — «толстяк». Разве мы сразу стараемся не замечать его лишнего веса и думаем: «Ух ты, этот человек полный, он, должно быть, прямо как Уинстон Черчилль, Лучано Паваротти или Будда!» Или все-таки первое, на что мы обращаем внимание, — так это именно на его толщину? Возможно, по неосведомленности и заблуждению мы даже приписываем ему несуществующие качесгва, например, неумение контролировать себя? Люди с близорукостью не могут хорошо выполнять многие действия без вспомогательных технологий — корректирующих зрение очков или линз. Без них люди с нарушениями зрения не могут водить машину, читать, играть в теннис, управлять самолетом или заниматься дайвингом. Но все же, я надеюсь, это далеко не первые мысли, которые посещают вас при встрече с человеком в очках. Пример таких людей, как Элен Келлер, Луи Брайль, Рей Чарльз и Бетховен может кое-что поведать нам о том, как «нарушения» ограничивают возможности.
We all somehow need to adaptto the environment. Children with autism also need to adapt in order to be able to reach their full potential. Fortunately, we live in a time when the mysteries of autism begin to be slightly opened. Now we know that the changes in the curriculum, sensory, speech and behavioral therapy - are tools that help us to achieve the goals that without them would have been inaccessible.
Not seeing the child as a whole, giving him to hide behindlabels, we, first of all, complicate life for themselves. Autism is not the cause of absolutely all its weaknesses. All children can quickly and unexpectedly change the mood. Most children will be certain problems for various testing, almost all the children speak the »toilet» threads on people can be stubborn to the last limit, will lower the toys in the toilet, to neglect basic hygienic rules and cry if you can not get his. Write off all on autism - it means not only to make a mistake, but also deprive themselves of the opportunity to watch a normal phenomenon in the development of your child! I repeat again: all these horrors - it is not autism. Your child can hope to have a preference, to love and not love, afraid to dream, like any other person. Over time (with the help of a serious and thoughtful work) he can tell you this, though perhaps not in words.
Keep this in mind and be open to it. Every child deserves to start his life and training with a clean slate, free from preconceptions. Labels hung necessarily in bad faith, but they are rarely benign.
»Bryce gets straight A in my class,» -He said one of the teachers of my son at the first parents' meeting at school. »He's just a terrific student. First, he does all that is required of him, and secondly, always doing homework, thirdly, enthusiastically taking part in the class, and most importantly, never »not in the subject.»
The teacher continued: »Bryce is beyond all that, I thought I knew about the possibilities of children with autism. I have before been in a class of autistic children. His ingenuity and ability to organize exceed these qualities in others .... »
He stopped in mid-sentence and thenHe continued: »I think I realized that the word» autistic »creates certain stereotypes and expectations, which may prove to be too low in relation to the skills and abilities of the individual child. I understand correctly?».
Yes, he understood everything correctly and as goodteacher, spreading this awareness to all children with autism who come to him after Bryce. The teacher realized that every time it detects a pupil as »autistic», it is the opinion in advance of the child's abilities, which further prevents him sort out and understand what can and can not do this particular child. We set these strips, but it is very dangerous. They
may be too conservative, then the childwill think: »Anyway, you do not believe me, there is no need to even try,» - or too high: »I will never be able to do it well, no need to even try.» Should we create additional difficulties for our children to overcoming them, they are in line with our perhaps naive expectations? This road is already quite long and difficult.
So, avoid the word »autistic» and ask yourself,whether it restricts somehow ideas about the future of your child or student and decreases if anything like the joy that this baby brings into your life. If your answer is »Yes», then remember that nothing (nothing!) not predetermined and that if you are together, your possibilities are truly endless.
