At the initial stage, the child is misbehaving andshall be punished in the presence of a parent. It teaches him not to repeat the bad behavior in the presence of mom or dad. But what will make the child when no parent and no one to watch his behavior? As an example, take a foul-mouthed child. House parents certainly punish him for such behavior. However, on the playground, where parents or other adults can not hear it, the child learns that it can avoid punishment for foul language. Moreover, it can continue to receive the award in the form of attention from peers. In this case, the child learns that the curse can not be only in the presence of mom or dad, in all other cases it will not feel remorse, uttering obscene words.
Obviously, such a child is not sufficientdeveloped conscience. We do not want our children to behave properly only because of fear of punishment. Fear or anxiety is not enough. We believe that the child developed internal constraints centers that, even in cases where the mother or dad not around and there is no threat of punishment, he still chose the right course of action.
Since you can not punish the child whenit is not there, what action should be taken? Often, you'll learn about the inappropriate behavior of their child from other sources, for example, from a teacher or as a result of personal observation, when you notice a broken things or crumbs from cookies on the lips of your offspring Any action that you undertake at this stage, can be described as » belated punishment. » However, the longer the delay, the greater the likelihood that the child will not remember or does not understand why he was punished.
Self-control will allow your child to think first, andthen do something about it. Before it can be a great choice of reasonable and unreasonable decisions, but if he is guided by the emerging internal principles that would not be considered only with their personal interests. He will not act solely under the influence of emotions, but be sure to think about their actions and make a reasonable choice.
Родители и учителя не должны ожидать от ребенка слишком многого и слишком быстро. Один неразумный поступок не делает ребенка преступником. Однако если у ребенка не разовьется самообладание, он будет постоянно уступать чужим желаниям. Поскольку такой ребенок не способен принимать самостоятельных решений, его выбор станет почти исключительно следствием минутного порыва или результатом давления со стороны группы сверстников, а это весьма ненадежные критерии!