Formation of character invariably involves two elements; development - Learning from experience and practice, and incorporation - The adoption of this experience in, turning itan integral part of the personality. In more detail, both elements will be discussed in the next chapter. But now we would like to point out the difference between training and education experience as the two sides.
Обучение — это процесс передачи информации от одного человека к другому. Само по себе обучение не дает ребенку возможности «присвоить» это знание, ответственно принять его. Библия различает два вида знания: знание, каким нам следует «знать» или понимать истину, чтобы стать свободными (см. Иоанна 8:32), и знание в том смысле, в каком Адам «познал» Еву (см. Бытие 4:1). Ребенок должен не только понять, что такое отношения, ответственность, стремление к цели; он обязан прожить их сам, познать их на собственном, личном опыте.
Ключевое слово в данной области развития характера — «опыт». Об этом говорит и Библия, описывая становление характера (см. Римлянам 5:4). Другими словами, делая что-то, будучи вовлеченными во что-то, мы начинаем расти. Нельзя научиться кататься на велосипеде по книжке — надо сесть и поехать. Так и родители должны предоставить своему ребенку возможность самому приобрести как можно больший опыт, постичь такие стороны реальности, как отношения, ответственность, прощение.
Here you have some passion, somethe skills you possess. You collect scrapbooks from newspapers and magazines, a good game of golf or guitar. Remember how bad it turned out you had when you started. It was immediately clear that you are new in this business. The most difficult given the most basics. Everything was somehow not so uncomfortable, not with your hands. And then, after some time, so you have mastered this art, that now every move you to manage almost automatically. Perhaps you have progressed so much that, in turn, can help other people who want to join your hobby.
What is the difference between a rookie, how you were, and master what you have become? You have invested a lot of effort and practiced for a long time.
You did not expect to wake up one morning champion. No, you have many times repeated the same simple-looking exercise, and then failing and disappointing. But you have learned.
It is produced in such a way in the childrencharacter. At all stages of childhood, a child must be actively involved in the maturation process. Baby, irresponsible, completely focused on itself, unable to trust others being - this is a newbie in the field of character education. As soon as you get him to do the exercises that strengthen the character, increasing its ability to experience affection, the ability to take responsibility, willingness to give something to others. If this process goes as planned, the nature of the development will continue after your child grow up and leave the house - it will last a lifetime.
Many parents find it difficult to understand this. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, we have seen none, we still think that the main thing - all the while repeating to the child that he has to do, and he finally listened to it and do it.
Once I took seven years to train a team of baseball players. When the bit is passed to the player of our team, I had to keep order among the athletes, who were sitting on the bench.
It took the boys to sit side by side, carefully watching the game and cheering his friends, when they hit the ball.
In fact, only the guys and doing,that muzili each other, with each other pulls off the cap, jumped up, ran off somewhere. I kept telling them, »Hush! Watch the game! ». I taught them, without adding to the nuggets of information or experience. This approach is quite inefficient: you can just order a hundred and ten boys to keep quiet, and the result will be zero.
By the end of the season I'm sick of futile attempts to maintain discipline. I did not refuse from the team only because other aspects of the coaching work I liked.
Once, my wife went to the match and,returning with enthusiasm about the coach told me (a woman!), whose guys on the bench behave like good boys, sitting quietly, carefully watching the game. Barbie learned that the secret of this trainer is the graph, which is the behavior of the boys says: perseverance, shouting, running around, and the like. Those who are well-behaved in the game, get premium tokens and can choose for something delicious, delinquent fines do jogging on the field, and are not allowed to bat. All this is probably a little bit looks like a barracks relationships, but none of the parents did not mind; They finally got the opportunity to quietly watch the game without being distracted by the ugly behavior of their children.
The difference is in the experience. The coach gave the children an opportunity to practice skills such as the ability to stay quiet, not to bully neighbors, not to touch their caps, cheering comrades shouting involved in the game. She reinforced these skills relevant rewards and punishments. Children have to change their behavior in response to the results.
Конечно, надо объяснить ребенку, что значит любить и быть любимым, принимать на себя ответственность (см. Второзаконие 6:20-25). но одного знания тут недостаточно. Ребенок должен будет много упражняться, пока не научится видеть реальность и приспосабливаться к ней или расхлебывать последствия своего непослушания.
