Autism is just a part of me. It does not define me as a person. Here you are people full of thoughts, feelings, and talents, or your personality is determined by only one particular feature? You fatso, four-eyes or goof? Perhaps this is the first thing I notice when I first see you, but it's not all that you are.
You adults are in control of your self-determination. If you want to single out any one of your properties, you just do it. I am a child, and my talents have not been revealed. Neither you nor I can know what I'm capable of. Defining me by one characteristic, you could possibly too understate the expectations for my abilities now and in the future. But if I feel that you don't believe me, I think: "don't even try".
I have impaired sensory perception.
This means that ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches that we face daily and you may simply not notice, can hurt, hurt me. The environment in which I am forced to live, often looks extremely hostile. I may seem withdrawn or aggressive, but in reality I'm just trying to protect themselves. That's why an ordinary trip to the store can turn me into hell.
I may have exaggerated rumor. Dozens of people talking at the same time. From the speaker continuously hear the announcement about today's sales. From the speakers howling new hit. At the box office something always squeaks and crackles, wheezing the grinder. In the meat Department slicer screams, children crying, carts creak, the lamp buzzing. My brain cannot filter out all incoming signals! All, I'm overwhelmed!
My sense of smell can be extremely sensitive. On the counter is the fish not fresh, the guy standing next to us was in the shower this morning, in the Department of cooking is the tasting of the sausages, the boy who is standing in line right in front of us, a full diaper, from a third cashier wash floors with ammonia, mopping up the remnants of broken jars of pickles, I can't deal with all of them. A little more — and I'm gonna be sick!
I may be visually-oriented, and then the first sense, attacked by external stimuli, will become vision. Fluorescent lamps produce not only too bright, but they flicker constantly. As long as throbbing, and I'm starting to cut eyes. Flashing light distorts everything I see — the world is constantly changing. There are too many objects, so I can concentrate on one thing: the bright light from the Windows, spinning the fan blades on the ceiling and a huge number of people who are in constant motion (I can try to defend with "tunnel vision"). All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive system, and at this point I can't even determine where in this whole mess myself.
Please remember that there is a big difference between what I want and what not to do.
It's not that I don't listen to your instructions. The fact is that I just don't understand you. When you contact me across the room, I hear something like this: "&L%$#@, Billy. #$%L&L%$&". Come closer and tell me in plain words, addressing me directly: "Please put the book on the table, Billy. It's time for lunch". Then I'll know what you want from me and why. Now it is easier for me to fulfill your request.
I think of specific images. This means that all your words I take literally.
Me totally confusing, when you say "stop spinning like a top" when in fact you mean "please hold still". You should not say "to make it a piece of cake", if you only want to emphasize that, "this is a very simple matter". When you say, "it's just ridiculous.", I will with interest look for laughing hens. Please, just say, "It is not true".
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, assumptions, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are usually just elude me.
Please be patient with my limited vocabulary.
I really difficult to Express his request, often I have simply no right words that describe the state I am in. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused, but all these words are outside of my language capabilities, be more attentive to the language, maybe it will help you to understand that I feel uncomfortable.
The situation may be reversed: I can speak like a little Professor or movie star, rattling off terms or to reproduce whole texts, the meaning of which is far beyond my understanding. All these words I remember to compensate your own vocabulary deficit — the fact that I know when talking to me, expect me to answer. These words and phrases can be from books, television or from conversations of other people. This is called echolalia. In fact, I don't quite understand the meaning of those words and phrases that say. But I do know that it will help me find a way out when you need to say something in response.
Verbal communication is given to me, so I'd better to see once than hear a hundred times.
Please show me how to do something, and do not limit yourself to verbal instruction. Patience to show me several times. Many sequential repetitions necessary for my educational success.
The schedule in pictures will provide me with indispensable assistance in organizing my day. It will help me not to keep in mind all the necessary actions, let me remind you that what follows will distribute my time and will become a faithful assistant in order to meet your expectations.
As I grow older I still will need the schedule, but the level of reporting will change. Before I learn this, I need a schedule with photographs or simple drawings. When I'm older, maybe will work a combination of words and drawings, and in the end I would rather just words.
Please focus on what I can do and not on what's not available to me.
Like any other man, I can't successfully learn in an atmosphere of constant dissatisfaction with my results and reminders about what exactly you should pay special attention. Do not really want to try anything new, when I'm pretty sure I'll hear nothing but criticism (even constructive). Try to find my strengths, you are going to succeed! And, besides, do not forget that there is not one but many different ways to do the job.
Help me in my relationship with people.
It may seem that I don't want to play with other children on the Playground, but most often I just don't know how to start a conversation or enter the game. Most likely, I'll just be happy to play ball or catch-up with other children, if you ask them to invite me.
Best I manage a clearly structured game where there is a strictly defined beginning and an end. I don't know how to read facial expressions, body language and emotions of other people, so I will be grateful for the constant explanations and tips. For example, if I laughed when Emily slips and falls, this does not mean that I'm really funny, I just don't know how to respond. Teach me to ask: "okay, did you hurt yourself?".
Try to figure out what is causing my breakdowns.
Believe me, tantrums, outbursts of anger, loss of self control — how do you call it — many times worse for me than for you. They arise from the fact that one or more of my systems of perception are overloaded. If you will be able to understand the causes of breakdowns, you will be able to prevent them. Try keeping a journal in which to note the time, conditions, people and actions preceding them. Gradually, the picture may become clearer.
Try to remember that any behavior is just one form of communication. When I don't have enough words, it'll tell you how I perceive events and the surrounding space.
Parents, don't forget that the basis of repeated behavior can be medical causes. Food Allergy and hypersensitivity, sleep disturbances and digestive problems can also have an impact on behaviour.
If you are a member of my family, please love me unconditionally.
Throw away thoughts of "if only he...", "Well why can't she...". You also do not correspond to the last all the expectations and hopes that are pinned on you, the parents, and it is unlikely you'll like this if someone will keep reminding you about it. I didn't choose for yourself autism. Remember, this happened to me, not you. Without your support my chances of a successful and independent adult life are negligible. With your help and under your guidance, my options are expanding much more than you can imagine. Believe me, I deserve it and I will not fail you!
A few words in conclusion:
Patience.
Patience.
Patience.
Learn to look at my autism as an unusual ability, not a serious illness. Look through your fingers at something I'm limited and can take this one as a gift that I purchased due to this condition. Maybe I not so well can keep the conversation going and avoiding eye contact, but did you notice that I'm not lying, not cheating at games, gossiping about my friends, not judging others? Of course, I'm hardly become the second Michael Jordan. But with my attention to detail and my phenomenal ability to concentrate I may be, I will become a second Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They too were autistic.
Treatment of Alzheimer's disease, unraveling the mysteries of extraterrestrial civilizations — what future achievements lie ahead of today's children with autism?
My achievements and accomplishments are not possible without you and your support. Just forget about the conventional rules if they are meaningless to me. Be my advocate, be my friend, and together we will see how much I can achieve.
