I have three children, two adults and 10-year-old "little man", although she's not a midget, of course, strausenok on long legs, quite independent girl. And after the camp she made her page "Vkontakte", to correspond with friends from the squad. And added me for the volume and heighten the chic.

And away we go. "Your friend passed the test "you in bed", to watch the result..." "Your friend has updated the photo on the page view" — volume elf practically nothing sticks out invitingly that my child has not grown yet. Tell me about the songs she listens to, the films and tests, who added her as a friend. Every time I hear a quiet swoosh of the message, I inwardly wince and tense up, God knows where else she'll get over it and don't have a second to drop everything and go to take action.

I'm not talking about viruses, this is one of her husband's diocese, the other day he was helping a friend clean out a computer from the hordes of Trojans — the same little girls caught in the Network, clicked on some link "know your future", the men spent two nights, to wipe them from all sorts of hidden corners of the registry, fight, plumbery.

Not better, I was to know nothing? A child sits quietly pohihikivali, something hums, pounding on the keys. What would the child have anything he wants, as they say.

But I remember last year's story of my 12-year-old client, so just doing a fantastic so far keep it down to not so much jump, and continue to follow. Yes, I'm paranoid.

"I'VE GOT A FRIEND"
Xue 12 years, she was an orphan, adopted by elderly relatives, a pretty reasonable girl. I was approached about nightmares, bouts of uncontrolled crying, constantly depressed mood. On the one hand, it seems to be clear: hormonal changes, puberty. On the other hand, there is information that her biological mother is in puberty start to fall into antisocial and dangerous behaviors that and brought her over the edge in the end. Very anxious for Xu, suddenly something miss, miss precursors.

Start working, the girl easily and willingly go to the contact (too eager, whispering my internal supervisor), tells a lot about herself, speaks about losing her mother in a year and a half. Foster mom loves, dad slightly contemptuous pity ("he's very weak, no help from him — zero". Obviously someone else's text repeats). Studying medium to good, favorite items all humanitarian, lots of friends, dancing and trying to play the girl group. While I don't find nothing to catch on, at first glance, the picture of absolute prosperity, cause for nightmares and suffering simply not.

So we quietly talk about anything else for a while, and yogi I suggest Ksenia draw. And once it becomes clear that the mother was worried not in vain. From pitch darkness looking at me, crimson eyes, terrible claws stretch with mines, Seretse grinning mouth.

"It's what I sometimes dream, — says the girl. — I don't know who this is, but at the same time I'm scared and I want to see, to touch". And then she says something that becomes key to the story: "I even Sasha told about it, he said that in girls it happens."

Stop. That for Sasha? Before this name never sounded.
Xue is clearly embarrassed and is reluctant to deploy this theme. Evasively, short impersonal sentences she says that nine months ago she met on the social network with a "very good man", Sasha, he's an adult, children's writer, they're talking in the "Skype", she tells him about himself, and he then puts these stories in their books.

I don't know why, but all my internal "early warning systems" just start screaming. Alarm! Alarm! If on the back of the wool psychoanalysts grew, now she would be standing on end. I feel like a she-wolf Raksha, protects Mowgli from Shere Khan.

What children's writer, which no one has never heard? I'm actually a teacher of literature, if anyone has forgotten, and in the course of what is published, follow. And what kind of books he writes? And why I react so badly? And why his name came up in a time when we ksjuha discussing her nightmares?

Xue calls me his name, she obviously is proud that she has grown up and famous friend. It is nice to be a Muse, she doesn't understand why I was chosen and ceased to be a "good fairy". She tries to reassure me: "come on, what's the big deal? He has many girls as friends five hundred people, there's a whole community".

All, my anxiety level jumps from orange to red. Now I'm no therapist, and a senile mother who is torn, not knowing how to protect my child. This, of course, the sense of Xu, which it displaces, and that manifest only at night, when conscious control is disabled and the scene goes Night's Watch — the subconscious mind.

The word "transfer" on hearing from anyone interested in psychology. It means, among other things, the unconscious feelings of the client, which "catches" the therapist. That is, when the CNS tells me about Sasha, in reality she is enthusiastic, a little excited, a little in love. But deep down she's desperately scared, she senses the danger, but pushes it a negative experience to the margins of consciousness to meet with him at night, in the form of terrible dreams.

In General, the normal emotions of a girl entering a frightening and alluring waters of adult life, which includes sex too.

Except that my reaction is kind of exaggerated, I'm so usually teenage love does not react.

And Xu, as if overhearing me, said: "Yes you even look it up yourself, he has a page "Vkontakte"!" Well, if you let me, I'll take a look.

Although I usually don't, googling clients is Phi, this is extremely bad form, it is a violation of personal boundaries and rules of the setting. And in "friends" clients, I do not add ever. But then I can barely wait until you get to the comp. And even in the way you think about what I will do if my terrible suspicions were confirmed.

"GRANDMA, WHY HAVE YOU GOT SUCH BIG EARS?"
Well, if you no longer want to torture you with waiting, I would say: Yes, I was right. Of course, this is not the pedophile who catches his victims on the Internet, but man, sick in the head. He writes half-mad-poluprorocheski stories that combine dismemberment, mechanisms, monsters from the Dungeon Dimensions, and a detailed description of the genitalia of little girls. Illustrations are appropriate.

Disgusting and vile. To imagine that any of my friends girls to read this, and even more — will serve as the starting point for his schizophrenic fantasies and the hand itself reaches for the axe.

But why Ksenia didn't notice it? Why she liked to communicate with him? Surely she wasn't disgusted or scared?

Was. But he was the only one in her life, the man with whom she could speak about the forbidden, about what causes burning interest, and to speak very allegorical, so that if something happens it was possible to make honest eyes and completely deny everything. The word "sex" was not uttered even once. It's called "corruption of minors".

Xuhi poorly constructed personal boundaries. Remember, I mentioned that it is too quickly to contact? Here it is. Normal slightly, we remain wary of new people, not open immediately, at first learn, find out, will a man be trusted not to hurt, not abuse. The child learns social behavior in the family, when walking with my mother to visit when she sees the Pope greets a neighbor in the yard. Our daily life offers a boundless field for study, interaction, and observation.

And Xue that is almost impossible. Her foster mom tried very hard to protect the girl from any potentially dangerous effects, therefore, the child attended only a highly cultured place and only hand, any "stupid" TV at home, no empty sloanii around the yard, especially any camps, because there "teach bad". In addition, advanced age of the parents determined the quality of guests and friends at home: a decent pair of older ladies.

As a result, She grew up with social "immune deficiency": the signal system is not configured to evil, she doesn't know how to read the context, it does not catch small signs pointing to "the wrong guy".

On the other hand, she was accustomed to sharing everything with my mom, from mom there should be no secrets, all my friends at mandatory are invited home each evening to thoroughly discuss how the day went... No personal, intimate spaces, as it turned out, in the literal physical sense too: sleeping girl with her mother, all so convenient.

The main point with which I began: her parents have no accounts in social networks. Moreover, they do not know how to use a computer. Ksenia is senior sysadmin. No one controlled who she communicates, she drummed the safety rules into the Network seven years, she had not set parental controls in the system. In fact, this is the story of Rapunzel, who, after spending twelve years in the tower, was released to the marketplace of a big city. Happiness that her nightmares drove his feet toward the "good witch". To the lair of the "evil magician" remained one turn.

So, dear parents, I urge you: watch for children! Talk to them about what in the world is evil, that it can pretend to be a friend. Teach them to trust themselves, to listen to the feelings. Teach the rules of safe behavior on the Network, that the child was there alone.

But to his friends — do not add.