1. Earn respect and save it. Respect for the child's parents to be in direct proportion to his respect for the laws of the country, the police, school authorities and society as a whole.
Однако уважение — это улица с двусторонним движением. Матери не следует ожидать уважения от ее ребенка, если она сама его не уважает. Ей не нужно ставить сына в неловкое положение или унижать его перед друзьями» Если отец отпускает саркастические й критические замечания в адрес сына, ему не следует ожидать ответного уважения. Ребенок может слишком бояться папу, чтобы открыто проявлять свои истинные чувства ненависти и мщения, но они обязательно всплывут в будущем.
Родители, которые добиваются от своего ребенка уважения в самом начале его жизни, а затем поддерживают его, будут пользоваться уважением и тогда, когда ребенок станет подростком. И родители должны понять, что если они недостойны уважения, то же самое можно сказать и об их религии, нравственности, стране и обо всех других нормах. Именно в вопросе взаимного уважения возникает «разрыв между поколениями», и дело вовсе не в том, что разные поколения не могут общаться друг с другом. Дети очень наблюдательны и подмечают мельчайшие детали. Вы не можете рассчитывать, что ваш ребенок будет уважать вас больше, чем вы уважаете своих родителей.
The most important lessons that the child learnshome - this is not the ability to read, write and count, as some people believe, and the respect, obedience, reverence and self-control. Little need to teach these virtues every day - patiently, consistently and with love, so that they become an integral part of his character throughout later life.
2. Set boundaries. My hometown of Tacoma, Washington,It is known, among other things, its ill-fated Narrow Bridge, falling a few years ago. Shortly after the accident, my father took the whole family to take a look at the two towers and two twisted road plates - the only thing that remained of collapsed under the pressure of strong winds the bridge. The new bridge built only eleven years.
Let's imagine that we are a familyWe want to spend a holiday in Tacoma and plan to visit this bridge. Approaching the bridge, we notice that he remained nearly intact, except for one detail: for some unknown reason, fences were removed along the edges of the roadway. We were afraid to go over the bridge, even though we have no intention to drive up to the edge of fear to break into one of the most unpredictable and treacherous straits in the world. The analogy with the children and their behavior is very simple: they can feel safe and secure within the prescribed limits,
One of the first researchers of children's behaviorI experimented with a group of children of preschool age. He wanted to know whether they would feel more free, if you remove the fence, which enclosed their playground. Fencing was removed, but the children, rather than to feel truly free, huddled in the middle of the playground, afraid even to come close to the edge of the patio. None of the children was not trying to get away from the site.
The happy family is always a certainboundaries as necessary to establish a clear boundary where two lives intersect to maintain friendly relations. Your child needs to know that you let him, and what is prohibited. No specific restrictions need to be set as low as possible, and they must be reasonable and achievable. Limitations also need to completely remove or modify as children get older. When a child understands the meaning of the restrictions, it does not get into trouble, if only will not deliberately strive for this, and as long as it is within certain limits, it feels safe, because I am sure in the benevolent attitude towards it,
3. learn discernment and obedience. Долгосрочная цель родителей — научить ребенка управлять своим поведением, принимать правильные решения, ясно рассуждать по поводу своего выбора, самостоятельно решать проблемы и заранее планировать определенные действия. Когда ребенок поймет последствия своего поведения, он сможет самостоятельно принимать верные решения, даже если родителей нет рядом. Ребенок, наученный соблюдать правила, ведет себя более ответственно. Объясняя ребенку причины его поступков, родители помогают ему до конца продумывать последствия его поведения,
Teaching a child to rely on common sense, follow these steps:
a. Tell him exactly what he did the right thing, or why you are punishing him. »I'll make you a nice surprise, because you are well cleaned my room.» »Tonight you will not watch television because he came too late from school»
b. After numerous examples to show you baby, why do you reward or punish him, ask him to identify these causes. «Как ты думаешь, почему именно сегодня я приготовила тебе сюрприз?» «Мне придется наказать тебя. Скажи-ка мне, в чем ты конкретно провинился». Ребенок понимает, что у него есть право знать причину наказания. Если вы объясните ему причину наказания, он охотнее примет его и чему-то научится. Когда ребенок ответит на ваш вопрос, еще раз повторите его мысль своими словами: «Да, ты заработал это лакомство, потому что хорошо убрал свою комнату». «Все правильно. Ты не вернулся вовремя из школы, так что сегодня вечером телевизор смотреть не будешь».
at. When he was able to explain the reasons for their behavior, begin to work on common rules of behavior. »Because you just washed the dishes, I authorizeyou watch your favorite program. As soon as you fulfill my request, are made nice things. » »You fell and hurt himself, because he did not look where you run. It is dangerous not to pay attention to where you're going. » A thorough explanation of the reasons for the child and the results of his actions meant to him much more than the usual words: »You've been a bad boy; never do it again. » He will learn to look for common principles and, from this point of view to perceive the behavior and intentions.
city When a child learns some general rules of conduct, they can be used for drawing up plans for upcoming events. Suppose you are driving your children to the park torides, circus or fair. In the past they came to the indescribable joy of the rides and there offered sweets. You can not afford to ride each of them more than three rides and treat any one treat. Discuss all this in advance, rather than after, the children will be delighted. A few days before the trip the pope should explain the situation: »On Sunday, I would like to take the whole family to the fair. You will be able to drive on three rides, and each of you will be able to choose one treat. For more, we have no money. Is that clear? »The children delighted with the upcoming trip, but the rule has been agreed upon in advance, and they have time to prepare for the upcoming event. And if someone of the guys starts to beg to let him »ride still a time», the Pope only need to ask the question »About how many trips we have agreed with you?» And adhere to the established rules.