The acquisition of »specialty» - an integral part of growing up. Adults - it is like a private club, which allowed not all. Among the new members must meet certain requirements.
First of all, an adult should bespecialist in some field. To enter into this »club», children need to acquire any skill, something to be able to do. While the child is very small, his whole problem boils down to, to grow, he still can not do anything for the adults. However, preparing for life in the adult world, you must help him to identify and develop the ability of some. It should feel like an expert in any case, to see what contribution it will make to the world, whether it is teaching, locksmith work, surgeon or business. »Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He will stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men »(Proverbs 22:29).
Подросток уже учится жить на равных со взрослыми. Родители помогают ребенку завязывать шнурки, готовиться к экзамену на водительские права и вообще всячески подстраховывают его, но взрослый должен заботиться о себе сам и без всякой страховки. Теперь вместо земных родителей человек обращается за помощью только к Богу, Который желает быть его единственным родителем. «И отцем себе не называйте никого на земле, — учит Иисус, — ибо один у вас Отец, Который на небесах» (Матфея 23:9). Человек, умеющий справляться с жизнью, становится братом или сестрой другим взрослым, чей Отец — Бог.
Третье требование затрагивает область отношений. Взрослые вступают в контакт как по любви, так и выполняя определенные задачи. Развитие навыков и опыта позволит вашему ребенку участвовать в обоих типах отношений. Он будет работать рядом с другими людьми, делить с ними обязанности. На вопрос «Чем ты занимаешься» он сможет дать вразумительный ответ, не ссылаясь на то, что он «просто хороший парень».
When I was not married, I once tooksingles involved in meeting the ages of twenty and thirty years. We were trying to get to know each other, and we were asked to tell who is doing what in life. Some of us were engaged in trade, others worked in a company, someone taught someone finishing university.
The turn to Dave. This handsome man of thirty-odd years began to talk about sports and academic success in college. His friend could not resist the antics:
- So, now you have nothing to boast of, Dave?
I'm in his place would die from embarrassment, and Dave chuckled and responded:
- I have a lot of potential, but its niche I can not find.
Yes, he was a nice guy, but to communicate with himgrown-up was impossible. He left behind a long chain of failures, sudden turns in his career and the next undertakings. Saying it was practically nothing with him.
Mastering some skill, perfecting yourtalent, a child learns and at the same time realistic about yourself. He has a particular interest that is growing and becoming stronger, and the person begins to experience life from the point of no longer helpless, dependent child and an adult from the point of view: »The desire accomplished - sweet to the soul» (Proverbs 13:19). There is a certain sweetness in adulthood. How to work well through the night without fear of parental suggestion!
Labour and skills related to the field of success,achievements, the good functioning. For this reason, many parents are concerned, does not appear if the child has anxiety about his success and will not be whether the parents' love for him due. They do not want the child bent over backwards trying to earn the love. We know how many people put on life is to deserve the love, but the success of the work did not bring them happiness. But in fact, such problems are not caused by the fact that a person develops a certain skill or craft; Skill and craftsmanship are in a different sphere of life.
Не нужно привязывать любовь к внешним достижениям ребенка. Ребенок должен быть полностью, безоговорочно уверен в своих отношениях с родителями. В этом суть милости — любви, которую не нужно каким-то образом «заслужить». Вы всегда будете на стороне своего ребенка, хорош он или плох, прилежен или ленив. Любовь и одобрение — не одно и то же.
It is necessary to help the child to gain the approval of thatIt is inextricably linked with his achievements. He has earned this approval when confirmed its status of an adult. Skills, abilities, competencies allow him to enter the adult realm. He becomes mature, fulfilling their duties, making homework, learning some skill. This brings him respect, a sense of equality with the older, opens up great opportunities, than to others, but in the end it provides a good career and salary. »Be diligent to present yourself to God worthy workman blameless, rightly dividing the word of truth» - The Bible teaches (by Timothy 2:15).
This is good and true. If we deprive rewards those who diligently working, or start handing out these awards to those who have not achieved anything, it will cause nothing but harm to all. Do not forget - love and approval must be separated. Say to your child; »I love you, and you do not have to» earn »my love. But with the work that we have entrusted to you, you did not deliver. »
