False values

Our society has developed a system of falsevalues, which ruthlessly destroys in people's self-esteem. We need to know and understand these destructive factors if we want to help the younger generation to successfully overcome the period of formation.

1. Beauty. If your child was born beautiful, itthere are clear advantages. Human society appreciates beauty. By three or four years the child already learns, that can promise him good looks. Beautiful child knows that adults treat him favorably. People smile at him, telling him what he was »cute» and raised a lot of noise around him. On child with ordinary appearance, no one pays attention, while its more cute siblings cause an increased interest in others. You may also vorkuete a beautiful baby and violently pours his delight, ignoring his less attractive brother or sister. It's human nature.

Dr. James Dobson in his book »Hiding or search» refers to the article »Beauty and the Beast» in »Psychology Today» magazine and shows extremely biased attitude of adults towards children comely:

1). The facts show that the attractiveness of a child affects the assessment that it receives in schools.

2). When adults showed a class of students photos and asked them to point out that the child who, in their opinion, is the instigator of the unrest in the classroom (or some bad deeds), adults tend to choose outwardly unattractive baby An ugly child often thought dishonest, good-looking than its peers. As the authors put it, despite all the talk about the character and spiritual qualities, we better think of nice people. And since primary school is almost no dispute about who is really beautiful.

3). Karen Dion concluded that the disciplinary decision is connected with the visual appeal of the child in other words, for the same misdemeanor are less severe if it makes a cute teen, and more severely, if it makes an ugly schoolboy.

4). It was found the most important thing, and it coincides with my observations: visual appeal is important in the nursery! Pretty three year olds are more popular among their peers, unfortunately, certain physical defects, such as fullness, do not remain without attention and provoke a negative attitude to the child in such a fragile age. »

In adolescence, this problem is even moreescalates. Outwardly attractive girl quickly learns that »the whole world is at her feet.» Handsome, athletic boy soon realizes that he is the chief. The rest sadly lagging behind, worrying about their acne vulgaris. Despite the fact that Mother Nature has treated them harshly, they still nourish hope and pray that someone paid attention to them. What kind of perverted values! To judge the human dignity for visual appeal - that is indeed a false value!

2. Intellectual giftedness. Еще один важный фактор, по которому мы судим о достоинстве человека, это его природная умственная одаренность. Родители всегда крайне болезненно переносят любые намеки на то, что у их ребенка недостает умственных способностей.

It is interesting to observe the behavior of the parentsnewborn: they seem to compete with all the other parents and want their child to be first in everything. They play a game called »bragging.» They boast that their child has erupted first teeth (as if it somehow depended on it!), He had already learned to sit in four months, five began to say »daddy», and in eight months, took his first steps. You might think that all this makes them more worthy of a child! The earlier a child begins to make known exploits children, the more we appreciate it. To a large extent parents assess their child's dignity in his ability to create them a good reputation.

What happens to a child who does not holdup to the level defined by the parents for him? (Note that this level largely reflects public expectations). What happens to a child who shows the average mental abilities in school or even below-average student?

Approximately 22 percent of all children in the UnitedStates have a mental factor endowments from 70 to 90, indicating that they are not able to quickly assimilate the curriculum. By the time when these children graduate from the first class, in their mind already formed deep scars from the consciousness of their own inadequacy. Nearly half of all children in the country are struggling with bitter feelings, because they simply can not make it to the required level, eleven years after studying in high school.

The mentally retarded child can maintainself-esteem in the early years of his life, but when he reaches school age, the picture changes dramatically. Now it will be compared to other students in the class, and he will need a little time to realize that he can not compete with its more gifted classmates. Until now, the parents managed to defend it, but now the child can survive this catastrophe, because his peers will raise a laugh, invent nicknames offensive. This discovery overshadows and suppresses his vulnerable soul. He did not want to include in the team, as he admits gross errors in the game and all the spoils. Guess who has a desire to run away and hide from the world? How many bitter tears shed in the silent solitude!