By the time when the child blows out onesmall candles on a cake, baked in honor of his first birthday, his self-esteem is already vulnerable. When a baby only a few months, he was able to distinguish by censure praise. He feels its significance, if he have signs of attention, and feels less valuable when with him rudely treated. He is sensitive to the attitude of the parents. If a child feels that his love and respect, is laid an important foundation for the development of self-esteem in his mind.

When a child is approaching its third orthe fourth anniversary of his world expands, it includes other people. Nursery, kindergarten, preparatory classes at school, going to church, watching TV, the books he read adults - all this introduces him to an even wider range of people. By the time the child turns seven or eight years old, his social life is more enriched, it can already be suffering from an inferiority complex. When he plays with other children, it is often teased and ridiculed. Children are often ruthlessly cruel and heartless in their relations with each other. Almost every day a child is faced with growing experiences that may affect his opinion of himself. In adolescence, a sense of their own inadequacy peaks.

And what factors besides refusal of belittlingdefinitions and nicknames, promote the development of the child's self-esteem? Speaking about the formation of a child's proper representation of yourself, you need to keep in mind three factors.

1. Self-esteem must be assimilated, Self-esteem - an acquired reaction toset of life experiences. At birth, the child does not inherit a good opinion of himself, although the tendency to form a positive or negative personal image can be congenital. As a rule, self-esteem develops as a result of daily interaction with others. The total experience of life leads to the fact that the child develops a positive or negative opinion of himself.

Charlie Brown, the hero of the popular series »useless people» I learned it worse than others. Place it near a drinking fountain, and he will be convinced that it is necessary to sprinkle. When he finds himself in baseball on the ground feeding, each time suffering a crushing fiasco. He has no friends. »Nobody loves me, nobody cares that I'm alive or dead,» - he often says. His »friend» Lucy constantly humiliates him and reminds him of his inferiority. From Charlie Brown learned about yourself so negative? All this has happened to him before. Whenever he tries to do something, he understands failure. One after another, the experience taught him that he is absolutely unable to achieve anything in life. All it stacks up against Charlie Brown.

As Charlie Brown learned to walk with bowed head,and your child will develop high or low self-esteem The more positive experiences will become your child and the more often you will encourage and support him, the greater the likelihood that he learn consider himself worthy and fully wealthy man.

2. Self-esteem must be earned. Well done important work will strengthen the feeling ofown solvency. Wealth and property can be obtained by inheritance, but self-esteem acquired and sold during the life. That is why the child starts early to wonder how he performs this or that matter, what capabilities it has.

On a subconscious level, the baby all the timeHe asks himself: »How do I get it,» No matter how well a child carried a particular problem, many parents believe that he could achieve even greater success, to exert maximum effort. If you hold such an opinion about the child, it will sooner or later be expressed in words or actions. You can not hide these feelings for a long time.

Хорошие показатели, достижения и творческие способности укрепляют чувство собственного достоинства. Ребенок никогда не сможет любить себя, если ему будет казаться, что у него ничего не получится в том или ином деле. Вот почему каждому ребенку нужно овладеть какой-то «специальностью», то есть навыком или умением, посредством которых он может win самоуважение. Развивая у себя такие навыки, ребенок способен утвердиться в собственной состоятельности. Ответственное и добросовестное выполнение повседневных домашних обязанностей и работы по дому также способствует укреплению у ребенка положительного мнения о самом себе.

Родители могут усиливать эту разновидность самоуважения с помощью следующих фраз: «Ты сегодня отлично застелил кровать» или: «Ты стал намного лучше считать», или: «У тебя проявляются хорошие способности к рисованию». Успех в делах усиливает ощущение собственной состоятельности.

3. Self-esteem must be acquired through personal experience. You can constantly talk to your child; »I really love you; you simply charm; you are very dear to me». But if it is not feels your warmth and good attitude, your wordsnot convince him, no matter how many times you repeat them either. You can talk about respect for anything: »Of course, dear, we respect you and feel wonderful child.» But if the words are not backed up by actions, your child will not develop self-esteem

Ребенок может ощущать, что родители любят его и заботятся о нем, и вместе с тем не верить в то, что они считают его достойным. Мать наркомана может любить своего сына, но ненавидеть то, во что он превратился. Аналогичным образом ребенок может прийти к такому умозаключению: «Ты говоришь, что любишь меня, но как лее может быть иначе, я ведь твой ребенок? Ты заботишься обо мне исключительно по обязанности. Я вижу, что на самом деле ты не гордишься мной, и я не имею для тебя большого значения. В каком-то смысле я подвел тебя: не получился таким, каким ты хотела меня видеть».

You convince your teen in a similarrelation to it whenever talking about him not giving answer given him a question, when to tell him what to say and what not to say to the house of a friend to whom he goes to visit when sending other subtle signals that enhance it belief that he shames you in front of people. A teenager can accurately determine whether or not you like it and how you feel about him.

It is not enough to love your child. He must feel, that you treat him well as a person, feel, что вы цените его личное достоинство, независимо от того, совершает он что-то великое в жизни или нет. Самый ценный подарок, который родители могут сделать своему ребенку, — это не любовь, а чувство самоуважения. Ребенок не сможет испытать ответную любовь до тех пор, пока не научится уважать себя.

Consequently, self-esteem - a positive opinion of himself, which digest, earned and acquired through personal experience.