It is said to comply with in the relationship between the balance of »take» and »give» is very important. »How can I learn to do it?» - We asked psychologists and heard in response to something unexpected.

My position is as follows: all the talk about fair trade in pairs - exploitation of our illusions, long-standing belief in finding the lost paradise. There is no perfect relationship, as there are no perfect people with mental state. In order to be happy next to another person, you need to recognize it and its imperfections, rather than relying on a formula.

Does this mean that you have to give upexpectations and did not even try to meet the needs? No, it does not. Notify me of their hopes is important and necessary, the man himself will not guess about them. Speak about everything, what you want, but if you still do not get the desired, do not press. Otherwise, you will meet even more resistance: Newton's third law of action and reaction is relevant and in love.

? Count, yes, not that

The balance is still there, it may not be - sothe world works. And he in fact exists between what we give and receive. Only manifests itself not on a conscious level, »I tell you the emotional comfort, and you give me - material», and at the level of ulterior motives. Motives, which for years kept people together, do not give break up the system.

Most often, the partners themselves do not understand whatis exchange - too deeply hidden away their personal scheme, the matrix behavior. Psychoanalysts can recognize it by the way a person speaks, responds to the interpretation of the expert and to whom »the invisible third», he drew his claim, when complaining about the husband or wife.

Yet this matrix is ​​shown in games in whichlead partners. And here I am not referring to the manipulation and interaction at all. For example, some women feel they are not getting from the men enough attention and expressions of love, live with a silent requirement »Why did not you give what I need?» Others, on the contrary, do not know how to take care of unconscious guilt. Or do for a man so much that he begins to feel obligated to return the »debt».

All this - interaction scenarios thatgovern us and bring some problems. The phrase »So deep down you like it» - complete nonsense. No one is not like! And no one needs advice on how to do it right. Everyone knows everything, can not simply look at the ill-fated scheme, and out of it.

Content:

1. ? Count, yes, not that (You read that section);
2. false accusation;
3. Bonjour Tristesse.