Talk to him: subscriber — not the subscriber

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Most of us looks like this: “Called stronger sex — stoically endure the scandals, intrigues, investigation, which suits the woman for missed calls or protracted meetings”. But for some reason men don't throw Breasts on a flurry of claims, and cowardly running to take out the trash or sit at work.

Blame the memories that awaken in the echoes of old emotions. The smell of tangerines is not in vain invokes in us a sense of celebration. A clash with a colleague that is similar to the hateful school teacher, inexplicable flash of irritation.

Psychologists Levi and Anderson believe that this emotional memory serves as a kind of Navigator: she tells me what to expect from future events, using analogies in the past. That's why your boyfriend always wince at the phrase "We need to talk", even if your intentions are the most harmless. That's surely the same thing was said one of his passions before the next tantrum.

So, while you are encouraged that the upcoming conversation now will save you from misunderstandings, your darling may be unpleasant deja vu. To gradually change his reaction, you have to understand, as it is impossible to discuss the problems.

The connection is established
The author of a series of books about relationships, "Mars and Venus" John gray argues that the cold and hot war in a pair moving in painful quarrels that make both feel unloved. Remember that you are together not out of desperation, and thanks to a mutual attraction, and to achieve understanding will be much easier. Show that you are unhappy with a particular situation rather than men in General.

Want to make your beloved Ice bucket challenge, okatu feelings from head to toe? It is unlikely he will accept your challenge. Sociolinguist and author of "You don't understand me!" Deborah Tannen drew attention to how we communicate the different sexes.

We girls, we choose one problem and discuss it long and detailed — even if we are sick or hurt. While men jump from topic to topic and not dwell on the unpleasant. You need to talk to, and a boyfriend seeks to quickly find a solution and move on. Don't confuse his muddled story about feelings, seasoned with tears, and put clear the task: "I would like to see you more often", "Please do not make a joke over my figure", "let's go to mom's weekend".

Another cause of unsuccessful interviews is the desire to defend their opinion at any cost, instead of to agree. If anyone of you is in a such position, the battle usually goes one of two scenarios: bad and worse.

In the first case your boyfriend turns into a stone statue and deprived of the gift of speech. Then he either leaves the battlefield or you both move on to the second script, and then he fiercely defends his point of view: turns the voice on full power and remembers all your cracks. Bear in mind, when people regularly choose the strategy "criticism (attack) — protection (counterattack) — retreat (offended silence)" they slowly move towards the gap.

You saw my mistakes and ready to change? According to the theory of family conflict you can “pass”. Get to practice.