Talk to him, there is a contact!

When I realized that we need another favorite withcommunication style, then started a T-shirt with a negotiator: inscription Let's make love, not war. So I'm getting at, exactly what we will deal after the talk, and my man is ready to endure any discussion, especially as they are approved by the diplomatic and psychological protocol.

I make a plan and write down the main meetingthinking: what are the challenges, what are their possible reason that it does not suit me to what I want to arrive at the result. And in advance to limit the time of the dispute: brief dialogue usually gives more than a discussion marathon. Our goal -razreshit conflict, or at least to outline how to do GTR, but not remember each other all the mistakes many years ago.

Psychologist and psychotherapist Oksana SpivakovskayaHe advises not to put partners at the guilty, otherwise he will fight to win. Do not turn to the prosecutor or the boss who chastises a slave and threatened him with dismissal, you do not play »Crime and Punishment.»

Remember that you are more employeesworking on a common project. Leave him a way of escape. Reformulate their proposals in question, even if they begin with the words »What do you think?» »What do you say about ..?». Thus, you will transfer to him of the responsibility, and therefore, retained his self-esteem intact.

Роберт Соулей, семейный специалист, считает, что выбраться из замкнутого круга непонимания поможет эмпатия. Почаще представляй, что почувствует твой бойфренд, когда услышит приготовленные для него слова. Любимый остро реагирует на попытки приучить его к безопасному вождению? Сравни уровень агрессии в двух фразах:
»Where are you persecuting, want to kill us?»And» I'm afraid that we're going at high speed. » The secret is to properly build a sentence: »You construct» the accused, so sounds hostile. Select »i-design.» Replace claim »You're always running away from the conversation» on a story about your fears: »I am afraid that our relationship crumble when we fail to speak quietly.»

Of course, I guru dropout: our couple do occur quarrel and my dramatic talent manifests itself fully. But the expert advice to help - do not slam the door and take care of soybean his parents I still learned.

How to solve a problem?

Не говори о сложных темах полунамеками — мужчины ценят прямоту. Рассказываем, как тактично, но откровенно все обсудить.

1. ОН НЕ МОЖЕТ НАЙТИ РАБОТУ.
WHAT TO DO. For starters take an interest in what the situation on the marketwork, friends asked around about job openings, and then share their ideas: »We in the finance department just opened position.» Or to solicit support his plans: »I am ready to temporary difficulties, if you start your business.» But do not press and do not try to look for a job for him.

2. He often drinking.
WHAT TO DO. Do not start a conversation when he drunk. It is better to think about it, do you have a spare life to spend at the current co-dependent relationship. Ask him some important questions: »Do you think alcohol is a problem?», »Are you ready to see a specialist?», »Do you see that the situation threatens our couple?» If the three times you hear a firm »no» - leave him alone with bottle, you're not wanted here. Otherwise, it takes months of treatment at the psychiatrist and years in Alcoholics Anonymous.

3. ОН ЗАМЕТНО ПОПРАВИЛСЯ.
WHAT TO DO. Gently joked: »Family life has been spared your figure»; expressed concern: »My dear, every kilogram increased risk of heart disease, think about health» and remember the old days: »When we met, I like so much the cubes on your press.» And then offered to get together at a fitness club, jogging or cycling.

4. He does not want sex.
WHAT TO DO. Ask him directly: »Do you think why we rarely have sex?» Often the reason for the cooling in bed -Diseases or stress, not a lover, you nafantazirovala. He leaves the answer? Set a time limit, how long are you willing to tolerate it.

5. it does not help with the housework.
WHAT TO DO. Often a man does not know about the problem, andHe thinks that everything is as it should be (my mother cook and clean, and nothing). Start a conversation question: »Do you know, how can you help me?» Find out what chores he is willing to perform, or offer to do something together, for example, prepare dinner. The main thing - do not turn to the foreman, who mocks clumsy workers.

6. He does not want children.
WHAT TO DO. Find out what scares him the appearance of a child. Perhaps the favorite does not see in your life partner or his way to freedom. If you hear, »I'm not ready», ask what needs to happen so that he wanted to be a father. Compare your plans for the future, all of a sudden they do not coincide.