I'm always surprised when in conversation with parents revealed that they read from cover to cover some benefits for the child's upbringing. Education in itself absorbs a lot of time and effort, there are some crises and disasters, so I really don't know how these people even find time to study theoretically this process. Imagine that a person accidentally dropped the window frame in my hand — he can't at this moment think about the alterations to the Windows, he will focus on his pain. If you got to the last pages of the book, that means you managed to look deeper, not stopping day-to-day tasks of parenting.

Many parents the task of raising beautiful children and passionate, and afraid. It is understandable that people, aware of its shortcomings, is full of anxiety and uncertainty at the thought that he shall bear the responsibility for another person's life. And everything described in this book, the tasks themselves can scare you. Maybe you are already asking yourself whether you work on character development.

To relieve you from these anxieties, we want to say something in conclusion. Try to understand their position in the process of education and begin raising children. They will become adults, able to love, to work and to obey God so as to be able true love all to return to Him (see Ephesians 4:15).

From the point
God

Take a look at its role from the point of view of God. God has appointed you to be the parent of this child, God chose you to be their "arms and legs" so you gave your child His mercy and truth. You are called to a Holy calling (2 Timothy 1:9). God help you, He guides you and supports. It does not surprise downs and sudden turns in the process.

Your task is great, but it is feasible for you and God. Mother Teresa said, "I know God will instruct me what I can't handle. If only He wouldn't trust me!" God gave you the child so He trusts you and gave you enough strength so you can cope with this task.

Moreover, your child is also a child of God. God does not remove responsibility for the process of education, not Its leaves (see Deuteronomy 31:18). God is deeply interested in the development of your child and his welfare. You dare not forget about their duty to the child. But even if you leave, God will never leave him ever. "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will receive me" (Psalm 26:10). Let this thought will strengthen you.

Parents need
support

You need support of other people. It is impossible to raise a child in a vacuum. You do not have everything your baby needs, and you have to replenish the shortage with the help of honest and good people. There are many ways to get the support of the Church now create "classes" for parents and self-help groups; in some cities there is a system of community support for parents. Friends and neighbors can organize themselves in self-help group, to share experiences and help each other. Importantly, this group has become a reliable place where you can speak frankly and discuss good parenting techniques, and to communicate regularly. You teach the child to make contact with you, And in turn, you should reach for the energy, support and comfort. You do this in the interests of not only the child but also their own. You are required to maintain regular, close and Frank relationship with people who will encourage your spiritual growth.

Parents who call us on the transfer of "new life Liv", often talk about the problem of isolation. We advise these parents to find a support group in a Church or some social circle, to build on these relationships in the process of education, and in response hear: "I've tried to seek help from friends, and in all the churches, and support groups in the area — all of them cold, all of them legalistic or did not want to cooperate with me". Even if this review is unfair, it points to a serious problem: becoming a parent, you have not yet secured their participation in some community. You need to find out what support you can get in the process of his spiritual growth and in the process of raising a child.

In the book "Reliable people" we discussed how to find and evaluate people and support groups and to choose in the spiritual and emotional sense suitable for you. In the Chapter "Where to find reliable people" we give not only information about good people, but also the rules under which we should assess a Church community

Discipline

I hope that this book will serve as for
you guide in six areas where must reflect the growth of your child. Children bring chaos into our lives, and you have to constantly review these milestones and to understand at which stage of education you are now. No matter what age have your child at the moment, you have a responsibility to participate in the six aspects of character and their work. You can fully concentrate, and it will help you to efficiently organize the process of education. Discuss this with your husband and other people who are important in your life. Find ways to help the growth of the child, to identify what aspects bothered him before.

For example, check to see whether the child needs assistance in the area of responsibility. If he complies with your instructions, whether to implement, is not inclined to rebel? Help the child take responsibility for his life, punish him with love, to help him gain self-control.

To accept failure

All parents deep down perfectionists. You want perfectly to accomplish the task of parenting, you do not let your weaknesses have hurt the baby. Alas, accept the sad reality: you had penalties in the past and will again prevent them from happening in the future. You can't at any given moment to give your child the necessary amount of love, discipline, knowledge. And your failures really affect the child.

But you don't have to be tormented by guilt. Children are resilient, and even if there is imperfect parents, they thrive. It is more important that parents were able to admit they were wrong, to ask forgiveness, to change something, if their behavior was wrong. Don't be afraid of mistakes, think of them as another means for growth. However, be afraid to hide their mistakes. For those who are in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation (see Romans 8:1), and since there is no condemnation, there is nothing to fear.

One of my friends recalled: "I from early childhood knew something my parents aren't normal, but in this not
it was all right, because they discussed it with me and I realized that they also "work above mistakes". We all coped well with it."

Keep contact

What to do when you don't know what to do? This is the main question for all parents. The unpredictable process of education because every child is unpredictable. Little man is very difficult arranged, impulsive, contradictory, full of creative energy, bursting to freedom, changing every day. How many times have you felt that already don't understand it, fail to deal with it? Parents if everything goes according to plan, it means that they either do not want to ignore the reality, or excessively controlling the child.

If you have entered into another period of chaos, if you don't have a ready answer and a plan of action, first of all you should establish contact with the child. Closeness no one is harmful, it often helps and is sometimes the only solution.

Of course, to make contact too can be difficult — sometimes the child brings you frustrated, hurt or provoke you. Sometimes you just want to make love with him. Would you prefer:

• strictly control the child,

• first to deal with the problem, and then to build relationships,

• use logic and encourage your child to share your point of view,

• to convince the child,

• punish the child exclusion because he is alienated from you.

We have already mentioned in Chapter 4, that of all the aspects of nature most important of all the ability to establish a relationship. On that Foundation you build everything else. God intended us to enter into relationship with Him and with each other. In the relationship — the essence of life, they are the source and meaning of existence, they are the focus of The deity. God is love (see 1 Ioanna:16).Tolkovaniyami other people we live with.

The child should be rooted and strengthened in love (see Ephesians 3:17), to absorb the repeated experience of your sympathy and of consolation, to live in sustainable relationships. In childhood generates itself the ability to contact. Sometimes a baby leaves the relationship, does not feel the closeness and your worries, in other cases you for one reason or another, deprive him of his love. For example, you break off the relationship because you don't feel love for yourself or because you are unable to cope with his anger. In any case, when the relationship is violated, the first step towards the child should do you.

Contact is a prerequisite. Stumbled on an unsolvable problem, you need to take a step towards the child, make him feel that you are with him, you for him that you want to understand what is happening with him, see what his inner world. The child spends all his strength in its agony, it is much harder to get in your world than you to follow him in his world. The child is a child, you are an adult.

And so God does with us when we turn away from Him. God commands us first to reform and then to turn to Him. No, God first forgives us, knowing that in ourselves there is no strength to repent and change. To gain this power, we must first be United with Him. "God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself" (2 Corinthians 5:19).

Here are some age appropriate ways of maintaining contact:

Sometimes the contact is by itself solves the problem, but the bowl is only the first step of many others that you will have to overcome in solving this problem. Always teach the child by word and deed, that it is important to keep the relationship.

Of course, we do not offer you the contact as the only means to cope with problems — such an approach by itself creates difficulties. A child can learn that its more like, right when help him to overcome any difficulties, and he will be willing to give up and give trouble, just to attract this way the attention of parents. Love should be equal and constant, so that the child used to the atmosphere of kindness and care (cf Ephesians 3:17). Saving the attachment is the norm of existence for your child in good times and bad.

We are glad that there are parents like you who dream to make everything better for their children. God bless you and may God guide you in your work, you served as the instrument of His case.