Release adulthood: how to live together

Your adult children continue to live in the parental home and find his own, of course. How to divide the territory and the responsibility to make everyone happy? For example, you can ...

... Discuss the plan.
Once the child was a student, talk abouthow you live on. Do you want to he paid all his attention to learning, and will whether to continue full funding, or variants are possible, and if so, what? Do you think that as long as parents pay the full study, they are entitled to firmly insist on compliance with the rules of the home?

And what happens next if the son or daughter is notWe go to college or are still deciding what to do in life? In this case, arrange many attempts to find yourself you're willing to pay for - courses, tutor, paid education, if a child is going to work and when. Did you allow the child to move into the apartment, which you have previously passed, and will give him some money to life, or to arrange that he can move to his grandmother, and will look after her?

Important! Build a conversation on equal terms, and try not totake the young man as a child: do not expect him to adult actions and decisions, if you want to only unquestioning obedience.

…ДОГОВОРИТЬСЯ О ПРАВИЛАХ ВАШЕГО ДОМА.
The main idea of this discussion - even though. that you are one family, and are very fond of each other, this house is the parent, so that the »controlling stake» in the rules of living together will belong to you and your husband. Make a clear list of the things you do now will stop the child - just because he grew up. For example, you obviously do not need to collect his dirty clothes, change the bedding or remind, that in the evening you need to clean the kitchen.

And it would be good way to kitchen and cookingIt ceased to be solely your responsibility area, once you have an adult helper with their eating habits. Or you can agree that it regularly participates in the procurement of food for the family.

Important! Discuss and agree on how you react to the idea oflead to your apartment Woman son (or daughter of a young man). Are you ready to spend the night on a periodic or permanent residence of the young couple with you, do you consider it necessary to first get married, or help them to pay for a separate housing.

…ПОПРОСИТЬ РЕБЕНКА ВНОСИТЬ ЧАСТЬ КВАРТПЛАТЫ.
If he has a permanent job, it is quitefair solution: in any case, payment for the rented room or apartment would be more than this amount, and living with your adult family member in the same way as you use the living space, lighting, heating and water. It is necessary not only to remove the part of the parents' financial burden, and for the child to more clearly understand what constitutes the total cost of the life of an adult.

Important! Your expectations should be based on specific circumstances - it may be a fixed amount or a percentage of their income (eg, 20-25%).