John Townsend

My friend Tony invited me to lunch to discuss family problems. After we told each other their news for the last time, Tony began his story about his family drama; his fourteen-year-old daughter Hallie began to skip classes, drink, got in with bad company. Tony and his wife Denise asked for help to the school, the Church and the Counsellor, in order to correct the behavior Hallie.

— It's just awful! How do you deal with it? — I sympathized.

— Yes, all of us have a hard time, he recognized Tony, but most of all I regret what we have lost.

— What do you mean?

— You remember what was Hallie in three or four years? I nodded — I knew the whole family.

— What a nice, responsible girl! — continued Tony. — We were very close to each other. And suddenly my daughter as if possessed by someone else — a mean, lying, all receiving a hostile reception. This Hallie, I just don't know.

I sat quietly next to each other, empathizing with his suffering.

Some time later, we met again with Tony, and I asked how things are going with Hallie. Overlooking tired and unworldly man Tony answered me:

— We all had a lot of work and much has improved since. Now I know what mistakes we made in the education Hallie. We wanted it to be brooches, but did not try to educate her good character. Now we are fully focused on this task.

Tony's observation reveals one very important aspect in the task of the parents. We all want to have good children, those that do it right. In itself this desire is quite reasonable and justified. We all have to do what is right in the sight of God (see Deuteronomy 12:28). However, many good kids, growing up, and not able to cope with life, become either not very good or good, but immature people.

Tony learned that the main problem is not that the child behaved well, but he has developed good character. This problem and devoted this Chapter.