Perhaps you've done everything in your power,wanting to teach your teen responsible attitude to life, but you still difficult to get him to get up and move in the right direction. Since it is extremely self-centered period in life when young people like the rewards and incentives, consolidation principles are particularly useful. If you feel that your teen need motivation, you will the following information:
1. Select the motivator, the most popular with the teenager. Giving the young man for two carsEvening hours can be a marvelous boost for him. Another teenager dreams of some fancy stuff. Giving your child opportunities to have fun - it's a good alternative to the whims, crying, pleas, complaints and molested inevitable otherwise. You can say, »Yes, I'll buy you a sweater that's what you want to have, but you'll have to earn it.» As soon as you manage to agree on the stimulus or motivator, the second step is not long to wait.
2. Arrange the agreement properly. You can perfectly achieve the goal withby means of a written contract, signed by the teenager and his parents. Harry and I have made a contract to make shortly before he turned 15 years old, and he got a driver's license for beginners. Yes, he could get permission to drive the car in front of us, but he had to earn that advantage to its responsible behavior. Driving a car requires a responsible attitude, and we decided that if Marcus can prove other things, that already has a sense of responsibility, we let him drive the car.
We insisted that Mark earned 25,000 points in six weeks - otherwise the contract will be considered invalid.
Mark also knew that since the signing of the contract, he can lose points for improper and irrational behavior.
Not only can you deny your teen points for bad behavior, but also to charge him reward points for commendable behavior, not provided for in the contract.
3. Разработайте метод мгновенного вознаграждения. Most of us are in need of some realincentive to maintain our interest as we move toward the goal. In the case of Mark, we have developed a scoring plan in the framework of the contract concluded with him. Every evening we faithfully recorded points and at the end of the week summed up the result in the first week of the son has earned only 750 points. He was well aware that he would never earn 25,000 points in six weeks, when it will move forward at a pace. However, over the next week, he scored 7500 points.
You can use the Treaty system in the mostdifferent situations. This principle is very effective, but you may have to change methods. Very valeno to the teenager did not give fair means not earn a reward. At the same time, parents should not be delayed awarding teenager honestly earned rewards or violate his promise.
Homework for parents
Родители могут помочь своему подростку, если они:
1. Respect his privacy. Подросток нуждается в уединении, и родителям не надо чувствовать себя отверженными из-за того, что он иногда закрывается в своей спальне. Потребность в личной жизни удовлетворяется также с помощью личных писем, дневников и телефонных звонков. Родители, обыскивающие комнату подростка или его личные вещи с целью найти свидетельства его секретной деятельности, нарушают право ребенка на личную жизнь. Если вы подозреваете, что ваш подросток употребляет наркотики, обыск и поимка на месте преступления могут быть оправданы, но родители не вправе изымать личные дневники и почту подростка, а также привычно рыться в его карманах, визитках или ящиках письменного стола.
2. Make house attractive. Details such as neat appearance,ready made beds, clean the kitchen, can relieve the teenager of embarrassment, when his friends come to visit. The teenager is very sensitive to the way peers appreciate his parents, even though he himself would not hurt to comb your hair.
И никогда не отказывайтесь от проведения совместных семейных мероприятий. Родители многих подростков — замечательные люди, но у детей нет возможности узнать об этом, потому что они видят своих отцов и матерей только тогда, когда те критикуют их или указывают, что им можно делать, а чего нельзя. Одним из главных факторов, влияющих на семейное счастье, надо назвать чувство товарищества и понимания, которое рождается во время совместных игр. Поскольку в большинстве случаев родители общаются с детьми лишь тогда, когда поручают им какую-то работу или исправляют их поведение, очень важно, чтобы в определенных случаях общение было менее серьезным и проходило в форме различных совместных развлечений. Семейные игры и походы с ночевками в палатках, совместные каникулы и прогулки по лесу, совместные строительные проекты и дружеские беседы создают атмосферу, в которой молодым людям, естественно, хочется поделиться тем, что у них накопилось на душе.
3. Finely observed. The teenager does not like to be restrictedcontinuous restrictions, but inwardly he is dreaming about making it reasonably directed. Teen torn apart by internal contradictions. On the one hand, he can not stand spineless parents, but on the other - protests against the violation of his personal liberty, especially if the parents give him instructions about the things in which he thinks he can understand. It was at this time a teenager can cry out: »Give me liberty, or I'll go home.»
However, in adolescence in anycase can not stop training or loosen the reins. Teen anchor need parental discipline that would hold it in this turbulent period of his life. And, as always, disciplinary measures must be fair, but not provoking the opposition of one parent to another. You can not run a business so that the child is manipulated by one parent to bypass the other, and if you want to take a firm decision, this responsibility has to take the father, since he is the head of the family unit.
