The study of behavior clearly shows that the assessment that you give to the child's behavior will either improve or worsen it. Evaluation, which improves the concrete behavior are fixing incentives and evaluation, which impairs the behavior, Molen compare with negative charges.
Especially important for parents three types of reinforcement incentives: social, in the form of different kinds of activities, and symbolic. Fixing social stimuli include the behavior of the parent, i.e. the intonation of his voice, praise, attention to the child, smile, touch and presence next to him. Some parents instinctively use social pinning the incentives, while others need to learn to use them.
To how to apply social reinforcement, it is necessary to keep in mind several important points: 1) react immediately, immediately, 2) respond energetically and 3) repeat this process hundreds of times. Pay attention to the fact that dad uses social entrenchment incentives, trying to teach Stephen the new game.
Dad: "The goal is to move your man around the Board and be the first to reach the house, you must drop a deuce, and then you can start the game. What should you have to drop out, so you can start the game?".
Steven: "The Deuce!".
Dad: "That's right! Whenever you fall out of dual numbers, i.e., the same number on both dice, you will be entitled to an extra turn. If you rolled a six, you could go back, and you don't have to go all over the Board. Tell me, in which case you are entitled to two moves in a row".
Steven: "When I don't get double the number."
Dad: "That's right! You quickly master this game! You can also return another player at the start, if you get to the square. However, on a blue space, he is safe. On a blue field can be two player. So, how can you send someone back home?".
Stephen"If I get on the blue square".
Dad: "Remember the blue squares — it's a safe field," You will be able to send another player back to start, only when you knock it with white square. You do well by trying to memorize rules because in this game it's important. You quickly grasp the essence of the case. I'm sure you'll be a great player."
Did you notice how dad broke complex rules into several simple steps, using concepts such as moves, goals, number and color? Immediately after the explanation of another rule, he asked Stephen whether he has understood. The father immediately secured the praise each correct answer. For the boy it was pleasant, positive learning experience. Even when Steven made a mistake, dad did not shame or humiliate him. Instead of evil he praised his son for diligence.
Fixing social incentives may seem straightforward, but often emerge and unexpected problems. Some children just can't accept the kind words in his address" When you use a fixing incentive, they neutralized him by "refuse to accept" praise. Here's what happens.
Mom: "Mindy, your new dress fits you perfectly. I'm so proud of your ability to sew".
Mindy: "It looks terrible. I've ruined this seam, and I'm too fat, and besides..." Or:
Dad: "Barry, this is one of the best of your written reports. I am proud of your work".
Barry: "I could have written it better". In these cases, your partner is punishing you for something you support it. As a result, you can become discouraged and no longer praise him for his good actions," One way not to attach too much importance to such responses is to correctly treat them as "coquetry" and to call them "self-flagellation". Also recognize that self-deprecation is a sign of low self-esteem, and work diligently to help my son or daughter improve their self image.
Another common error is the "double message" when you connect one sentence stating the stimulus with a negative charge. Parents using the "double messages", reinforce the behavior with praise or approval, but then come into confrontation and nullify previous efforts. Strange in the dual message is that the "victim" can't complain, because in the beginning got the incentive of fixing. However, subsequent observation dilutes it, as subtle it may sound. Here are some typical examples:
Mom: "Mike, you are quietly playing with his cars. Still, it's nice sometimes to sit in silence!"
Dad: "Barry, thank you for what you washed the workshop. But next time, do a good job. Look how you left the mess. I'll have to redo everything".
Many parents unconsciously and rashly send their children double messages. But the double message is one of the most devastating obstacles in the process of consolidating positive behaviour. In the next few days, watch how you praise your child. Not if you send him messages with a censure?
