Say »Goodbye» | Peace talks

How to discuss the gap and remain human.

The right place and time - is important.
When painful, blurt out, »let us part!»I can be anywhere -utrom breakfast, in-store, at the exit of the bus. Worse than you can imagine! Amid the hustle and bustle of routine partner, feeling a real shock. In addition, it is immediately clear that the initiator of separation does not care about the feelings of another. Faded bathrobe or five minutes before going to work - is it respect? It is better to find a time when both of you take the time and place that is not associated with bright emotions. For example, a deserted cafe, not park where you met.

Speaking must be ready two.
The hackneyed phrase »We need to talk» was not inventedIn vain. It gives the other the opportunity to at least slightly prepare for the worst. Scientific fact: we are more tolerant of pain, if in advance it is tuned. ? Have you accepted the resolution of the break? Think over the answers to the key questions: »Why?», »Can I change something?» And »How will we communicate further?»

Fait accompli and slam the door? It's cruel.
Story conversation in the form of »I - messages». Speak in the first person: »I believe» or »I do not fit.» Do not let accusatory intonation - perhaps another girl behavior of this man would be quite satisfied with »formulated phrase, so that the partner could feel your support and could even be something to influence:» Let's decide together how to organize everything. I do not want to hurt you». If the decision is reported to you, describe all the different emotions. You can ask for help to cope with them, but do not require. Feelings - your area of responsibility. >

CROSS OST? CORNER ANGLES

1. Partner responds aggressively.
If we are not talking about assault and battery (here the Councilone - run), other emotions can »extinguish». Anger, revenge - the products are very heavy experience, with which the man himself can not cope. Ask directly: that he had »hurt.» Sorry for unintentionally caused suffering and show that you should not depreciate.

2. In the third situation is present.
Most often people do not go »into the void» butIt is not necessary to advertise it. Yes, it's hard not to ask: »Did you have someone?» But hold on. If the man offered to part, and the expression on his face only speaks of fatigue, it is likely to be too late to fight (although the attempt is not torture, you yourself know). ? Do you accept deprivation? In advance, make sure that you leave the person, and not from one or two annoying qualities and during the final conversation do not tell the former about the new partner and especially about the betrayals, if they already were. Not knowing is his right.

3. Do you have something to share.
Common friends themselves decide how to deal with each of you. With assets do this: write alone options section, and then together discuss point by point.