Can parents help a teenconsistently and smoothly move towards independence? The most common method resorted to by Christian parents - a complete control over the ambient environment of a teenager. When it comes to choosing entertainment, friends, fashion, music, reading books, TV shows and films, fathers and mothers make decisions for their children. Such parents are likely to give the teenager in a Christian school, trying to protect him from the evil influence and strengthen it Christian principles.

However, you will never completelycontrolling the environment of the child. You can not completely protect him from the influence of this world. The problems exist in public schools, are less likely to be present in the Christian schools. Trying to isolate the teen from worldly influence - this is the most ineffective method of control his behavior. Because sooner or later, this teenager will have to leave the world of programmable parents, he (or she) may be worse than their peers prepared for a clash with the harsh reality.

Another common mistake is tooacute reaction of parents to the bad influence from the outside. These parents hope that their rapid expression of a negative attitude to non-Christian actions and the standards of behavior will help the teenager to avoid such stupid things in the future. For example, telling a teenager not to listen to rock music, my father always let disparaging comments about this music. This method often produces the opposite effect. Once in this mode, many teens simply disconnected from their ultra-sensitive parents. At home, they still listen to them with some respect of shares or with indifference, and outside of the house is doing something from which they »discourage» parents. Teens are also at home to do something in secret from their parents, when prudently learn how to hide them from their actions. When his parents finally learned the truth, they feel a sense of guilt and sorrow. They did not give rest to the same question: how our baby turned into a worldly way, as we warned her boy (girl) from this?

The most successful method of teaching teenvalues ​​and moral norms is called »method of vaccination.» Just as parents allow the child to enter in small doses of pathogenic microbes (the vaccine) to strengthen its immunity against a specific disease, so they have to do in the field of moral education until their child is still very small. This parent is not to lecture the child and does not isolate it from any influence of bad things, but by example teach your child the true values, openly and discussing all issues, and bearing in mind the possible collision of his child with questionable influence

In the case of a parent problem openlyIt discusses the pros and cons. He communicates with deprivation teenager or young man, driving a two-way dialogue, and sends it to gently and unobtrusively. Such parents try as often as possible to give the young person the opportunity to make choices and to make their own decision,

even if it is a bad solution. In any case it is better that the child as much as possiblepreviously I learned to avoid wrong choice and that he did not have to learn then, when you need to make decisions with serious consequences. Few parents endure an atmosphere of openness, but it is the most effective method. Most parents consider it their duty in all cases to make decisions for their teens. When a man (woman) making a bad choice, the parent feels the heavy burden of guilt and believes that he has suffered a failure. However, once the child is not learning to make wise decisions. This ability must be developed, as, for example, any muscle.

Сведущие родители, желающие дополнить метод прививок, будут, не дожидаясь того или иного прецедента, вовлекать подростка в процесс установления нравственных норм поведения в доме. Таким способом можно успешно договориться с ним о правильной линии поведения, когда решается вопрос вождения машины, свиданий и отношений с представителями противоположного пола. До того времени, когда подростку будет позволено ходить на свидания или водить машину, ему (или ей) нужно предложить самостоятельно разработать определенный кодекс поведения, которого необходимо придерживаться при пользовании родительской машиной или последующих поездках на свидания. Родители также могут внести свой вклад в договор с сыном или дочерью.

The proposed method is very effective, because thewhen the young man himself formulates the rule and agrees to abide by it, he will be inclined to behave more consistently than if parents simply by order required him to stick to some rules of conduct. It is important that the teenager has made the best possible contribution to the elaboration of these rules, and parent contributions would be minimal.

This approach takes time, effort and patience,but he brings a solid dividends and it pays off. The teenager, who is allowed to make their own choice and to participate in the elaboration of the rules, is likely to be considered with his family, and he will begin to develop a healthy independence and positive self-esteem - two essential qualities.